Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X , the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
explaining to my daughter that mommy is an alto 2 and a lot of these disney songs and nursery rhymes are not in my exquisite range
am rod (@arod_twit) September 17, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"am rod","author_url":"https://twitter.com/arod_twit","cache_age":86400,"description":"explaining to my daughter that mommy is an alto 2 and a lot of these disney songs and nursery rhymes are not in my exquisite range am rod (@arod_twit) September 17, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"am rod on Twitter / 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am rod (@arod_twit) September 17, 2024
I gave my 9yo a smartwatch so he could text me in an emergency.
Today's text: a soccer ball hit me right in the nuts.
I gave my 9yo a smartwatch so he could text me in an emergency.
Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) September 16, 2024
Today's text: a soccer ball hit me right in the nuts.
Kids will give you the biggest hug right before absolutely destroying your self-esteem in a drawing
meghan (@deloisivete) September 16, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"meghan","author_url":"https://twitter.com/deloisivete","cache_age":86400,"description":"Kids will give you the biggest hug right before absolutely destroying your self-esteem in a drawing meghan (@deloisivete) September 16, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"meghan on Twitter / 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meghan (@deloisivete) September 16, 2024
Ive had a name of my daughters friend in my phone for a year now but only listed as Addies mom and I literally have no idea what this womans name is and I talk to her all the time at school functions and birthday parties THIS is the hardest part of parenting
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 16, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"That Mom Tho","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mom_tho","cache_age":86400,"description":"Ive had a name of my daughters friend in my phone for a year now but only listed as Addies mom and I literally have no idea what this womans name is and I talk to her all the time at school functions and birthday parties THIS is the hardest part of parenting That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 16, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"That Mom Tho on Twitter / 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That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 16, 2024
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I thought my attitude was so cute until I procreated a tiny replica of myself.
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@itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 18, 2024
The best thing about my kids' school is that anytime anyone has ever called me in the middle of the school day, as soon as I answer they say \"HiMrsMulrooneyeverythingsfine\" and save me two and a half seconds of Mom Panic.
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Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) September 18, 2024
The fact that my kids think having cereal for dinner is a treat, is my greatest parenting win
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) September 16, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Real Life Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/reallifemommy3","cache_age":86400,"description":"The fact that my kids think having cereal for dinner is a treat, is my greatest parenting win Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) September 16, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Real Life Mommy on Twitter / 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Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) September 16, 2024
Advertisement
Went to a kids birthday party where they gave away slime and glitter glue. So Im signing up the parents as volunteers for every school event
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So Im signing up the parents as volunteers for every school event
Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 17, 2024
First rule of kids sleep is You Do Not Brag About How Well Your Kids Sleep or the Sleep Fairy will come and take the sleep away
sarah (@sarahradz_) September 17, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"sarah","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sarahradz_","cache_age":86400,"description":"First rule of kids sleep is You Do Not Brag About How Well Your Kids Sleep or the Sleep Fairy will come and take the sleep away sarah (@sarahradz_) September 17, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"sarah on Twitter / 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sarah (@sarahradz_) September 17, 2024
My 9yo did well on a test so I complimented her a few times, but my 6yo was unhappy and asked Why did you compliment her 4 times but you only complimented me 3 times when I did well on my test?
So, I turned myself in to the appropriate authorities for processing.
My 9yo did well on a test so I complimented her a few times, but my 6yo was unhappy and asked Why did you compliment her 4 times but you only complimented me 3 times when I did well on my test?
My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) September 19, 2024
So, I turned myself in to the appropriate authorities for processing.
That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.
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I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) September 14, 2024
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11 had attitude tonight and my wife said \"okay I'm done talking about this right now\" and his response was \"GOOD I'm glad you are\" and I left the room so he could be murdered in silence.
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Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) September 15, 2024
I was telling a younger person about how I used to attach a club to my car's steering wheel as a way to keep it from being stolen and my pants pockets magically became filled with Werther's originals
Dad Moon Rising (@raoulvilla) September 19, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":" Dad Moon Rising ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/raoulvilla","cache_age":86400,"description":"I was telling a younger person about how I used to attach a club to my car's steering wheel as a way to keep it from being stolen and my pants pockets magically became filled with Werther's originals Dad Moon Rising (@raoulvilla) September 19, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":" Dad Moon Rising on Twitter / 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Dad Moon Rising (@raoulvilla) September 19, 2024
My kid invented a game but told me it was too complicated and I wouldn't understand. Reader, he is throwing a stuffed animal repeatedly in the air and catching it
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meghan (@deloisivete) September 19, 2024
Love to spend $200 on groceries and then go to pack kid lunches the next day and still have no idea what Im supposed to put in there.
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Lucy Huber (@clhubes) September 14, 2024
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