Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
\"Awwww they're so fun but also soul crushing at this age.\" - me, meeting a child of any age
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The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) February 28, 2017
Having 3 kids means I literally have no concept of what is or is not gross to normal people anymore.
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Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) February 28, 2017
I don't always sleep in on Sunday mornings but when I do...
Just kidding.
I'm a parent. I don't sleep anymore.
I don't always sleep in on Sunday mornings but when I do...
MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) February 26, 2017
Just kidding.
I'm a parent. I don't sleep anymore.
Taking my kids somewhere special for a treat is a great way to find out where they would have rather gone.
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Holland","slug":"simon-holland","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/simon-holland","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},"relegenceId":4342310,"url":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},{"name":"Practice Makes Perfect","slug":"practice-makes-perfect","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/practice-makes-perfect","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"},"relegenceId":6382199,"url":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false,"enhancements":{}}">Taking my kids somewhere special for a treat is a great way to find out where they would have rather gone.
Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) February 28, 2017
I just broke up a fight over someone repeatedly calling someone else a nightgown face, if anyone wants to know what parenting is like.
Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) February 27, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Unremarkable Files","author_url":"https://twitter.com/ThatEvansLady","cache_age":86400,"description":"I just broke up a fight over someone repeatedly calling someone else a nightgown face, if anyone wants to know what parenting is like.— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) February 27, 2017\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Unremarkable Files on 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Holland","slug":"simon-holland","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/simon-holland","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},"relegenceId":4342310,"url":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},{"name":"Practice Makes Perfect","slug":"practice-makes-perfect","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/practice-makes-perfect","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"},"relegenceId":6382199,"url":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false,"enhancements":{}}">I just broke up a fight over someone repeatedly calling someone else a nightgown face, if anyone wants to know what parenting is like.
Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) February 27, 2017
My favorite part of being corrected by my 6-year-old is how he's wrong 99% of the time.
My least favorite part is that other 1%.
My favorite part of being corrected by my 6-year-old is how he's wrong 99% of the time.
Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 27, 2017
My least favorite part is that other 1%.
My 5yo just popped his eyes open from a nap and said \"What can I have for dinner?\" so definitely my child.
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Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) February 26, 2017
Everyone has practice so we can either have dinner at 4:30 or 9:00.
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Holland","slug":"simon-holland","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/simon-holland","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},"relegenceId":4342310,"url":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},{"name":"Practice Makes Perfect","slug":"practice-makes-perfect","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/practice-makes-perfect","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"},"relegenceId":6382199,"url":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false,"enhancements":{}}">Everyone has practice so we can either have dinner at 4:30 or 9:00.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 1, 2017
5pm, to kids: \"Stop complaining that there's nothing good to eat here! Have some fruit!\"
11pm, to self: \"There's nothing good to eat here.\"
5pm, to kids: "Stop complaining that there's nothing good to eat here! Have some fruit!"
Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 2, 2017
11pm, to self: "There's nothing good to eat here."
Some days parenting is so rewarding and joyful and amazing or so Ive heard.
Court (@Discourt) February 28, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Court","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Discourt","cache_age":86400,"description":"Some days parenting is so rewarding and joyful and amazing or so Ive heard.— Court (@Discourt) February 28, 2017\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Court on 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Holland","slug":"simon-holland","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/simon-holland","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},"relegenceId":4342310,"url":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},{"name":"Practice Makes Perfect","slug":"practice-makes-perfect","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/practice-makes-perfect","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"},"relegenceId":6382199,"url":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false,"enhancements":{}}">Some days parenting is so rewarding and joyful and amazing or so Ive heard.
Court (@Discourt) February 28, 2017
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will, be used against you by your child in a busy public setting.
Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) February 27, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Mommy Cusses","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mommy_cusses","cache_age":86400,"description":"You have the right to remain silent. 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Anything you say can, and will, be used against you by your child in a busy public setting.
Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) February 27, 2017
My 3-year-old is watching Beauty and the Beast for the first time. \"Is that a broken cup?\" He's wondering who is busted for breaking Chip.
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Holland","slug":"simon-holland","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/simon-holland","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},"relegenceId":4342310,"url":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},{"name":"Practice Makes Perfect","slug":"practice-makes-perfect","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/practice-makes-perfect","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"},"relegenceId":6382199,"url":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false,"enhancements":{}}">My 3-year-old is watching Beauty and the Beast for the first time. "Is that a broken cup?" He's wondering who is busted for breaking Chip.
Jennifer Borget (@JenniferBorget) February 28, 2017
My parenting backup plan is to keep handing out snacks.
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Holland","slug":"simon-holland","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/simon-holland","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},"relegenceId":4342310,"url":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},{"name":"Practice Makes Perfect","slug":"practice-makes-perfect","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/practice-makes-perfect","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"},"relegenceId":6382199,"url":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false,"enhancements":{}}">My parenting backup plan is to keep handing out snacks.
Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 2, 2017
Practice makes perfect.
And headaches, when it's Mary Had a Little Lamb for the bazillionth time on a recorder for school.
Practice makes perfect.
Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) March 1, 2017
And headaches, when it's Mary Had a Little Lamb for the bazillionth time on a recorder for school.
The worst part of my husband getting up with the kids is trying to decide if I should join him, or escape out the window & start a new life.
Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 2, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Dragging Feeties","author_url":"https://twitter.com/DraggingFeeties","cache_age":86400,"description":"The worst part of my husband getting up with the kids is trying to decide if I should join him, or escape out the window & start a new life.— Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 2, 2017\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Dragging Feeties on 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Holland","slug":"simon-holland","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/simon-holland","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},"relegenceId":4342310,"url":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},{"name":"Practice Makes Perfect","slug":"practice-makes-perfect","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/practice-makes-perfect","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"},"relegenceId":6382199,"url":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false,"enhancements":{}}">The worst part of my husband getting up with the kids is trying to decide if I should join him, or escape out the window & start a new life.
Dragging Feeties (@DraggingFeeties) March 2, 2017
Having a house full of cold-ridden kids isn't so bad when you give up on life and let them watch Netflix for 12 hours a day
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Ash (@cray_at_home_ma) February 27, 2017
You are NEVER watching Wild Kratts again!!
*and other irrational bedtime threats
You are NEVER watching Wild Kratts again!!
here comes the son (@idtweetforever) February 28, 2017
*and other irrational bedtime threats
When I go grocery shopping without my kids, I use that freedom to get so much food that people must think Im a doomsday prepper.
The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 2, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"The ParentNormal","author_url":"https://twitter.com/ParentNormal","cache_age":86400,"description":"When I go grocery shopping without my kids, I use that freedom to get so much food that people must think Im a doomsday prepper.— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 2, 2017\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":"The ParentNormal on 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The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 2, 2017
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My fairy tale ending: 3yo is finally, truly potty trained and the old pee smell that has become my constant laundry companion is vanquished.
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Holland","slug":"simon-holland","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/simon-holland","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},"relegenceId":4342310,"url":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},{"name":"Practice Makes Perfect","slug":"practice-makes-perfect","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/practice-makes-perfect","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"},"relegenceId":6382199,"url":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false,"enhancements":{}}">My fairy tale ending: 3yo is finally, truly potty trained and the old pee smell that has become my constant laundry companion is vanquished.
Missy (@MamaFizzles) February 28, 2017
I told my kid I wasn't going to pick up after him anymore, and then we laughed and laughed. I cherish these moments together.
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Holland","slug":"simon-holland","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/simon-holland","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},"relegenceId":4342310,"url":"https://action.news/topic/simon-holland"},{"name":"Practice Makes Perfect","slug":"practice-makes-perfect","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/practice-makes-perfect","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"},"relegenceId":6382199,"url":"https://action.news/topic/practice-makes-perfect"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false,"enhancements":{}}">I told my kid I wasn't going to pick up after him anymore, and then we laughed and laughed. I cherish these moments together.
MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) March 1, 2017
6: Mom I'm sad that you're sick
Me: Aw, I'll get better soon, ur so swee-
6: That's good bc I can't reach the cookies
Me:
6: It's so sad
6: Mom I'm sad that you're sick
Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 2, 2017
Me: Aw, I'll get better soon, ur so swee-
6: That's good bc I can't reach the cookies
Me:
6: It's so sad
CURRENT MOOD: I can hear everyone snore in my house. pic.twitter.com/iyJUu8B7KB
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Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) March 1, 2017
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