coworker: what kinda cat is it?

me: gray

coworker: no i mean what breed?

me: ohhh. gray

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the vet told us there's a note in Gristle's file that shes most of the nurse's favorite dog and to let everyone know when she's there so they dont miss out on petting her pic.twitter.com/tvIiliXK91

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My dog chewed on one of my daughter's old Barbies and created.... pic.twitter.com/otCDoDr2bJ

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just drove past two women who were letting their dogs say hello to each other and the dogs were all wiggly and excited and i shouted FRIENDS before i realized my window was down

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Absolutely insane that my friends dog that looks like this has not gone viral. pic.twitter.com/0L5OAYwWxT

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One of the biggest misconception about cats is that they're like these graceful sophisticated intellectual creatures when really they're complete dinguses

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I like big butts and I cannot lie pic.twitter.com/wohQuxrsyT

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The dog snitched in record timing pic.twitter.com/5YVvKmBExl

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when your dog somewhere quiet af

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dogs on TV are great because no matter how vicious or tragic or portentous their appearance is meant to be, their facial expression and body language is always \"I'M DOING THE TRICK I'M DOING IT SO GOOD I'M A GOOD BOY\"

Cliff Jerrison (@pervocracy) March 15, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Cliff Jerrison ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/pervocracy","cache_age":86400,"description":"dogs on TV are great because no matter how vicious or tragic or portentous their appearance is meant to be, their facial expression and body language is always \"I'M DOING THE TRICK I'M DOING IT SO GOOD I'M A GOOD BOY\" Cliff Jerrison (@pervocracy) March 15, 2022\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Cliff Jerrison on 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Black peoples pets know better pic.twitter.com/Qf88rYu7gt

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Please help find this dog pic.twitter.com/NxSvN04YYE

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It is a special case. pic.twitter.com/aum930AbE4

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Ah yes, time for the biannual gaslighting of the cat, in which I slowly shift meals by 15 minutes at a time for two weeks in a ritual that is both mystifying and infuriating for him.

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Veterinarian Keeps Trying To Upsell Woman On Keeping Pet Alive https://t.co/bIb9duU4pJ pic.twitter.com/QHMk7ItvF2

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mood pic.twitter.com/sFrPiBTUvB

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Happy St. Patricks Day from Loretta, who is either celebrating the holiday or radioactive! pic.twitter.com/NkGeGtZVis

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We only rate dogs. This is a Cozy Cashmere Caterpillar. They're typically pretty aggressive so please be careful. Remember to only send dogs. Thank you... 13/10 pic.twitter.com/6O6l7VFbgm

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Rushed to check my cat was OK only to find it trying to steal salmon jerky from a kitchen drawer shaken open by the earthquake https://t.co/VE1ufXoX3j

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you gotta read between the lines when youre reading adopted dog bios. a patient family with no children and no loud noises in the home will LOVE having pistachio in their life :)

aka pistachio will fuckin bite you.

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anybody elses cat just stare at them like this for hours straight? hello its not polite to stare pic.twitter.com/0gZ2sPle8W

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Timeline cleanse
(Wait for the end!!) pic.twitter.com/U0IXrSaGGS

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