The parents of X (formerly Twitter) love to describe the fulfillment and delight of using dinosaur-shaped cookie cutters to make fun sandwiches and filling multicolored muffin cups with fresh-sliced fruits and veggies each accompanied by a delectable homemade dip. Naturally, their children eat every bite, leaving their lunchboxes spotless and empty, and, upon arrival home, they declare, Lunch was so delicious, Mom, Ill take care of making dinner for you tonight!
Just kidding!
These are real parents. Below, enjoy their funny tweets about packing lunches for kids.
There is one food left that my kid will still eat for school lunch and I live in terror of the day she announces that shes sick of it
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 8, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Real Life Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/reallifemommy3","cache_age":86400,"description":"There is one food left that my kid will still eat for school lunch and I live in terror of the day she announces that shes sick of it Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 8, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Real Life Mommy on Twitter / 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lunch","slug":"school-lunch","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/school-lunch","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch"},"department":{"name":"Latest News","slug":"politics-news"},"section":{"title":"Education","slug":"education"},"topic":{"title":"School Lunches","slug":"school-lunches","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/news/topic/school-lunches"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">There is one food left that my kid will still eat for school lunch and I live in terror of the day she announces that shes sick of it
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 8, 2024
7-year-old: I packed my own lunch.
Me: Did you remember a sandwich?
7: Oreos count.
7-year-old: I packed my own lunch.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 13, 2019
Me: Did you remember a sandwich?
7: Oreos count.
Me, first week of school: I packed you a healthy lunch.
Me, one month later: Theyre serving mini-corn dogs & pudding, you want school lunch today?
Me, first week of school: I packed you a healthy lunch.
NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 13, 2021
Me, one month later: Theyre serving mini-corn dogs & pudding, you want school lunch today?
The school lunches I send my kids deteriorate throughout the week. Monday's lunch is pretty solid, but everything starts going downhill pretty fast. By Friday, they get an apple and some bread if there's bread left.
Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 19, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Marcy G","author_url":"https://twitter.com/BunAndLeggings","cache_age":86400,"description":"The school lunches I send my kids deteriorate throughout the week. Monday's lunch is pretty solid, but everything starts going downhill pretty fast. By Friday, they get an apple and some bread if there's bread left. 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Monday's lunch is pretty solid, but everything starts going downhill pretty fast. By Friday, they get an apple and some bread if there's bread left.
Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 19, 2023
7: mama, I will eat everything you pack in my lunch
me: thats wonderful
7: except the things I dont like
me: there it is
7: mama, I will eat everything you pack in my lunch
mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) July 13, 2023
me: thats wonderful
7: except the things I dont like
me: there it is
Lets play a game of Why Did Part Of My Childs Lunch Come Back Home Uneaten Today? Choose one:
A. I didnt have time to finish
B. I didnt notice that was in there
C. It got soggy/brown/warm/cold
D. I dont like [insert food] anymore even though I loved it 2 days ago\"
Lets play a game of Why Did Part Of My Childs Lunch Come Back Home Uneaten Today? Choose one:
SpacedMom (@copymama) January 28, 2020
A. I didnt have time to finish
B. I didnt notice that was in there
C. It got soggy/brown/warm/cold
D. I dont like [insert food] anymore even though I loved it 2 days ago"
My school lunches- Sandwich, apple, granola bar, water
My first graders lunch- ramen, maki roll, fresh berries, apple sauce, cheese cubes, boiled egg, homemade pickles.
My school lunches- Sandwich, apple, granola bar, water
Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) September 7, 2021
My first graders lunch- ramen, maki roll, fresh berries, apple sauce, cheese cubes, boiled egg, homemade pickles.
7: at lunch yesterday, someone asked me to trade my KitKat for a granola bar but I told her no. I know what I have.
Marissa (@michimama75) August 30, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Marissa ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/michimama75","cache_age":86400,"description":"7: at lunch yesterday, someone asked me to trade my KitKat for a granola bar but I told her no. I know what I have. 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I know what I have.
Marissa (@michimama75) August 30, 2023
Just put a ziplock bag of cocktail weenies in my kids lunch. Happy day after the Super Bowl.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 5, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Simon Holland","author_url":"https://twitter.com/simoncholland","cache_age":86400,"description":"Just put a ziplock bag of cocktail weenies in my kids lunch. Happy day after the Super Bowl. 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lunch","slug":"school-lunch","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/school-lunch","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch"},"department":{"name":"Latest News","slug":"politics-news"},"section":{"title":"Education","slug":"education"},"topic":{"title":"School Lunches","slug":"school-lunches","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/news/topic/school-lunches"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Just put a ziplock bag of cocktail weenies in my kids lunch. Happy day after the Super Bowl.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 5, 2018
Sometimes, Im making my kids cute little sandwiches with pretzel Mickey Mouse ears and blueberry noses, mad sometimes theyre getting a cookie and two Tic Tacs for lunch.
Balance.
Sometimes, Im making my kids cute little sandwiches with pretzel Mickey Mouse ears and blueberry noses, mad sometimes theyre getting a cookie and two Tic Tacs for lunch.
Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) April 15, 2021
Balance.
I love my kids, but good lord, do I need to pack a lunch for them every day or can they just forage at recess or something?
Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) September 13, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Anecdotal Birthcontrol","author_url":"https://twitter.com/AnecdtlBrthCtrl","cache_age":86400,"description":"I love my kids, but good lord, do I need to pack a lunch for them every day or can they just forage at recess or something? 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lunch","slug":"school-lunch","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/school-lunch","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch"},"department":{"name":"Latest News","slug":"politics-news"},"section":{"title":"Education","slug":"education"},"topic":{"title":"School Lunches","slug":"school-lunches","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/news/topic/school-lunches"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">I love my kids, but good lord, do I need to pack a lunch for them every day or can they just forage at recess or something?
Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) September 13, 2021
Responding to my friends being honest: \"Man, I appreciate you.\"
Responding to my kids being honest: \"Man, can't you lie about lunch being good just for today??\"
Responding to my friends being honest: "Man, I appreciate you."
A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 20, 2020
Responding to my kids being honest: "Man, can't you lie about lunch being good just for today??"
[School Morning Routine]
6:00 Wake, make lunches
6:30 Wake kids
6:45 Breakfast
7:00 Start yelling
7:15 begin to panic
7:20 Totally freaking out now
7:30 look for socks, everyone is crying
7:35 Leave
7:45 threaten to pull over
8:00 arrive at school (KID: I forgot my lunch)
[School Morning Routine]
The Baby Lady (@thebabylady7) October 9, 2018
6:00 Wake, make lunches
6:30 Wake kids
6:45 Breakfast
7:00 Start yelling
7:15 begin to panic
7:20 Totally freaking out now
7:30 look for socks, everyone is crying
7:35 Leave
7:45 threaten to pull over
8:00 arrive at school (KID: I forgot my lunch)
No thanks, \"30 adorable lunch ideas for back to school.\"
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 7, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Simon Holland","author_url":"https://twitter.com/simoncholland","cache_age":86400,"description":"No thanks, \"30 adorable lunch ideas for back to school.\" Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 7, 2017\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Simon Holland on Twitter / 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Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 7, 2017
1st week of school: *lovingly packs kids lunch with a note*
2nd week of school: *packs kids favorite sandwich with a kiss on the cheek at drop off*
27th week of school: *hurls a Little Debbie cake at my kids head and screams you too! When I meant I love you.
1st week of school: *lovingly packs kids lunch with a note*
Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) September 26, 2019
2nd week of school: *packs kids favorite sandwich with a kiss on the cheek at drop off*
27th week of school: *hurls a Little Debbie cake at my kids head and screams you too! When I meant I love you.
I love going to another parent at my preschool's fancy, organized house and being like \"I should get MY life together!\" and then the next day sending my child to school in mismatched shoes, a PJ shirt, with mini marshmallows as a side in his lunch because ran out of real food.
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 21, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Lucy Huber","author_url":"https://twitter.com/clhubes","cache_age":86400,"description":"I love going to another parent at my preschool's fancy, organized house and being like \"I should get MY life together!\" and then the next day sending my child to school in mismatched shoes, a PJ shirt, with mini marshmallows as a side in his lunch because ran out of real food. 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Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 21, 2022
I dont need Pinterest school lunch ideas. I need Oh the bus is here school lunch ideas.
Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 14, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jessie","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mommajessiec","cache_age":86400,"description":"I dont need Pinterest school lunch ideas. I need Oh the bus is here school lunch ideas. 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lunch","slug":"school-lunch","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/school-lunch","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch"},"department":{"name":"Latest News","slug":"politics-news"},"section":{"title":"Education","slug":"education"},"topic":{"title":"School Lunches","slug":"school-lunches","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/news/topic/school-lunches"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">I dont need Pinterest school lunch ideas. I need Oh the bus is here school lunch ideas.
Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 14, 2022
My kids dont usually want ANY of the meals I make, unless, of course, that meal is a lunch left at home & they can get the exact same fuggin sandwich from the school cafeteria or the mediocre PB&J that would force me to drop everything & deliver it. Then they NEED it NOW.
MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) September 3, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"MomTransparenting","author_url":"https://twitter.com/momtransparent1","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kids dont usually want ANY of the meals I make, unless, of course, that meal is a lunch left at home & they can get the exact same fuggin sandwich from the school cafeteria or the mediocre PB&J that would force me to drop everything & deliver it. Then they NEED it NOW. 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Then they NEED it NOW.
MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) September 3, 2021
In an Apple standoff with my kid. I keep sending an Apple in her lunch and she keeps bringing it home.
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I keep sending an Apple in her lunch and she keeps bringing it home.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 18, 2022
Dont act like youre too good to use the bread ends and turn them inside out when making your kids lunch so they wont know. You put your pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us little people.
Maryfairyboberry (@maryfairybobrry) February 27, 2019","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Maryfairyboberry","author_url":"https://twitter.com/maryfairybobrry","cache_age":86400,"description":"Dont act like youre too good to use the bread ends and turn them inside out when making your kids lunch so they wont know. You put your pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us little people. 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You put your pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us little people.
Maryfairyboberry (@maryfairybobrry) February 27, 2019
Day 1 school lunch: carrots, ham and cheese sandwich (cut in triangles), clementine (peeled), snow peas, cheese stick, chilled water, handwritten note
Day 117 school lunch: clementine (bruised), water bottle from 2008 discovered under passenger seat, half a box of Cheez-Its
Day 1 school lunch: carrots, ham and cheese sandwich (cut in triangles), clementine (peeled), snow peas, cheese stick, chilled water, handwritten note
Courtney Ellis (@courtneyellis) August 27, 2019
Day 117 school lunch: clementine (bruised), water bottle from 2008 discovered under passenger seat, half a box of Cheez-Its
I see your meal prepped, farm fresh, animal, plant and fossil friendly, environmentally conscious, homemade, gluten, and grain free lunch in the bag you knitted before the sun rose this morning for little AidenKaden and raise you one half stale PB&J on a hotdog bun.
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Maryfairyboberry (@maryfairybobrry) December 4, 2019
Not to brag but my daughter ate the fruit I packed in her lunch today. pic.twitter.com/cCRocEkbpl
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@itssherifield (@itssherifield) February 19, 2024
My kids school called saying he was refusing to eat because I accidentally sent his sisters lunch. I explained that every single thing inside was exactly the same, so he sat down and ate. Haha no I'm kidding, he had to miss recess because he tried to throw it out a window.
The Dad (@thedad) August 22, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"The Dad","author_url":"https://twitter.com/thedad","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kids school called saying he was refusing to eat because I accidentally sent his sisters lunch. I explained that every single thing inside was exactly the same, so he sat down and ate. Haha no I'm kidding, he had to miss recess because he tried to throw it out a window. 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I explained that every single thing inside was exactly the same, so he sat down and ate. Haha no I'm kidding, he had to miss recess because he tried to throw it out a window.
The Dad (@thedad) August 22, 2023
What my 2yo eats out of his packed lunch at school has absolutely no correlation to what he will eat at home and I just want an explanation.
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Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 21, 2022
I slept in so I was running late this morning and while I was upstairs getting dressed, the 5yo decided to help by making her own lunch for school.
Graham crackers and tic tacs. You guys, she packed graham crackers and tic tacs. ugghhIlovehersomuuuuuuuch
I slept in so I was running late this morning and while I was upstairs getting dressed, the 5yo decided to help by making her own lunch for school.
Dinah (@dinahaddie) March 30, 2023
Graham crackers and tic tacs. You guys, she packed graham crackers and tic tacs. ugghhIlovehersomuuuuuuuch
The school emailed dont pack a lunch on Monday cause its pizza day and I havent felt this high since college.
@itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 12, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"@itssherifield","author_url":"https://twitter.com/itssherifield","cache_age":86400,"description":"The school emailed dont pack a lunch on Monday cause its pizza day and I havent felt this high since college. @itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 12, 2023\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"@itssherifield on Twitter / 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lunch","slug":"school-lunch","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/school-lunch","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/school-lunch"},"department":{"name":"Latest News","slug":"politics-news"},"section":{"title":"Education","slug":"education"},"topic":{"title":"School Lunches","slug":"school-lunches","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/news/topic/school-lunches"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">The school emailed dont pack a lunch on Monday cause its pizza day and I havent felt this high since college.
@itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 12, 2023
Other moms: I only pack my child an environmentally friendly bento box of high protein charcuterie for lunch.
Me: OMG me too! We call it a Lunchable.
Other moms: I only pack my child an environmentally friendly bento box of high protein charcuterie for lunch.
MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) March 8, 2019
Me: OMG me too! We call it a Lunchable.
I miss the days of the wild school lunch trade market. You go to school with one thing, and act like a frenzied day trader before sitting down to an entirely new lunch.
I brought Gushers every day. Didnt even like em, but I knew how much they were worth on the inside.
I miss the days of the wild school lunch trade market. You go to school with one thing, and act like a frenzied day trader before sitting down to an entirely new lunch.
The Dad (@thedad) February 3, 2021
I brought Gushers every day. Didnt even like em, but I knew how much they were worth on the inside.
Fun Fact: It doesnt matter how much love and effort you put into making your childs school lunch every single day -
- they will remember, and repeatedly bring up in the company of others, the one fucking time you forgot it at home.
Fun Fact: It doesnt matter how much love and effort you put into making your childs school lunch every single day -
Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) January 8, 2020
- they will remember, and repeatedly bring up in the company of others, the one fucking time you forgot it at home.
My 5yo wants me to send her a grilled cheese for lunch but she wants it to taste like I just made it when she eats it at school. Kids are really out here thinking we can perform miracles.
Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 16, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Marcy G","author_url":"https://twitter.com/BunAndLeggings","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 5yo wants me to send her a grilled cheese for lunch but she wants it to taste like I just made it when she eats it at school. Kids are really out here thinking we can perform miracles. 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Kids are really out here thinking we can perform miracles.
Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 16, 2022
My 12yo just told me he doesnt want bagels for lunch anymore. Were Jewish and live in Brooklyn. I dont know where to go from here.
Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) June 4, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Snarky Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/SnarkyMommy78","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 12yo just told me he doesnt want bagels for lunch anymore. Were Jewish and live in Brooklyn. I dont know where to go from here. 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Were Jewish and live in Brooklyn. I dont know where to go from here.
Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) June 4, 2021
One of my kids asked for more vegetables at lunch. I'll be writing a book. It's called:
\"Get Your Kids to Eat Vegetables!\"
It's subtitled:
\"PS this method won't work tomorrow\"
One of my kids asked for more vegetables at lunch. I'll be writing a book. It's called:
Ohio mom of two #BLM (@OhioMomoftwo) November 9, 2019
"Get Your Kids to Eat Vegetables!"
It's subtitled:
"PS this method won't work tomorrow"
My daughter got home from school today and looked me dead in the eye and said your lunch was a 6/10 today and I just
Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 14, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Katie D","author_url":"https://twitter.com/KatieDeal99","cache_age":86400,"description":"My daughter got home from school today and looked me dead in the eye and said your lunch was a 6/10 today and I just Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 14, 2023\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Katie D on Twitter / 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Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 14, 2023
My kid managed to very successfully scare me as we walked out the door for school and she asked, you packed me a special Halloween lunch, right?
mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) October 31, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"mom mom mom mom mom","author_url":"https://twitter.com/notmythirdrodeo","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kid managed to very successfully scare me as we walked out the door for school and she asked, you packed me a special Halloween lunch, right? mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) October 31, 2022\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"mom mom mom mom mom on Twitter / 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mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) October 31, 2022
Its just not a big deal, said my clearly delusional husband when he switched the kids lunch boxes
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 14, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Real Life Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/reallifemommy3","cache_age":86400,"description":"Its just not a big deal, said my clearly delusional husband when he switched the kids lunch boxes Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 14, 2021\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Real Life Mommy on Twitter / 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Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 14, 2021
My 12 year old son spent $12 on lunch today. What exactly is the school serving? Olive Garden??
Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 14, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jessie","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mommajessiec","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 12 year old son spent $12 on lunch today. What exactly is the school serving? Olive Garden?? 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What exactly is the school serving? Olive Garden??
Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 14, 2022
My kid just gave the lunch I packed her a bad yelp review.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 16, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Simon Holland","author_url":"https://twitter.com/simoncholland","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kid just gave the lunch I packed her a bad yelp review. 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Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 16, 2023
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8-year-old: You didn't pack chocolate in my lunch.
Me: You don't need any.
8: What if there are dementors?
Me: *packs the chocolate*
8-year-old: You didn't pack chocolate in my lunch.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 14, 2019
Me: You don't need any.
8: What if there are dementors?
Me: *packs the chocolate*
When school ended I was like \"YES, no more making lunches for my kids!\" and then they were like \"we still need you to feed us lunch every day\" and I was like WTF
SpacedMom (@copymama) July 7, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"SpacedMom","author_url":"https://twitter.com/copymama","cache_age":86400,"description":"When school ended I was like \"YES, no more making lunches for my kids!\" and then they were like \"we still need you to feed us lunch every day\" and I was like WTF SpacedMom (@copymama) July 7, 2022\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"SpacedMom on Twitter / 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SpacedMom (@copymama) July 7, 2022
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