Swim season has officially arrived. That means lounging poolside with a book in one hand and a cool drink in the other oh, wait, you have kids?
Youll need to slather chalky child-safe sunscreen onto wriggling bodies, adjust goggle straps with your prune-like fingers, holler Dont run! every three minutes and contend with the fact that you are basically marinating in childrens pee once in the pool.
Sound like fun? Put it to the comedic parents of X (formerly Twitter) to sum up the experience in 280 characters or less.
Me: Im such a fun mom!
Also me: If you splash me one more time, Im going to drain every last drop of water out of that pool.
Me: Im such a fun mom!
Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) June 10, 2023
Also me: If you splash me one more time, Im going to drain every last drop of water out of that pool.
When you go in the pool with kids and tell them you dont want to get your hair wet, they take that as a challenge.
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SpacedMom (@copymama) August 3, 2022
Advertisement
At the public pool with the kids; weve been here for 17 minutes and 247 shouts of Mom, watch this! long.
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Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 8, 2018
If I have to adjust another kids goggles today Im gonna drown myself in this kiddie pool.
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Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 22, 2020
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With summer coming, I cant wait for family swim time where the kids try to drown me while my wife relaxes by the pool.
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The Dad (@thedad) May 20, 2019
Mom! Watch this! Mom! Mooooommm!!! Watch! Mommy! Are you watching? WATCH THIS MOM! -my childs summer pool anthem
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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Mom! Watch this! Mom! Mooooommm!!! Watch! Mommy! Are you watching? WATCH THIS MOM! -my childs summer pool anthem
Marissa (@michimama75) June 22, 2020
Advertisement
My oldest has grown so much since his first swimming lesson, over two years ago. He recently moved up to the next level.
All this after I told him about the \"pool sharks\" that eat kids who give no effort.
So proud.
My oldest has grown so much since his first swimming lesson, over two years ago. He recently moved up to the next level.
A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) January 26, 2019
All this after I told him about the "pool sharks" that eat kids who give no effort.
So proud.
Taking the kids to the community pool. This will go one of two ways: 1) Theyll want to leave within 15 minutes 2) We live there.
Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) August 21, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Dude-Bro Dad","author_url":"https://twitter.com/thedadvocate01","cache_age":86400,"description":"Taking the kids to the community pool. This will go one of two ways: 1) Theyll want to leave within 15 minutes 2) We live there. 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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Taking the kids to the community pool. This will go one of two ways: 1) Theyll want to leave within 15 minutes 2) We live there.
Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) August 21, 2022
My 5yo and I were having a great time playing in the hotels pool when all of a sudden she hugged me super tight and said not at all quietly, Im not going to tell anyone that I just peed in the pool!
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Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) August 19, 2021
At the hotel pool my 6yo kept saying No sex in the pool and I stared at him dumbfounded until I finally realized he was pointing at my socks
Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) July 22, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Richard Dean","author_url":"https://twitter.com/dad_on_my_feet","cache_age":86400,"description":"At the hotel pool my 6yo kept saying No sex in the pool and I stared at him dumbfounded until I finally realized he was pointing at my socks Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) July 22, 2021\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Richard Dean on Twitter / 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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">At the hotel pool my 6yo kept saying No sex in the pool and I stared at him dumbfounded until I finally realized he was pointing at my socks
Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) July 22, 2021
Advertisement
My kids put the \"P\" in \"Swimming Pool.\"
Adam (@YSylon) September 5, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Adam","author_url":"https://twitter.com/YSylon","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kids put the \"P\" in \"Swimming Pool.\" Adam (@YSylon) September 5, 2020\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Adam on Twitter / 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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My kids put the "P" in "Swimming Pool."
Adam (@YSylon) September 5, 2020
Just as we got into the hotel pool today my toddler exclaimed loudly I pooped! Turns out she hadnt, but by the time I realized that, everyone else had gotten out and we had the pool to ourselves. Kind of a brilliant move to be honest.
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Turns out she hadnt, but by the time I realized that, everyone else had gotten out and we had the pool to ourselves. Kind of a brilliant move to be honest.
Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) July 21, 2021
Decided to go to the public pool since my kids wouldnt stop nagging me all summer about going and it wasnt actually bad. I just wish I took the kids.
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I just wish I took the kids.
My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) September 5, 2023
6-year-old: *swims in the pool for 8 hours*
Me: Time to get out.
6: But we just got here.
6-year-old: *swims in the pool for 8 hours*
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 1, 2018
Me: Time to get out.
6: But we just got here.
Advertisement
Swimming in a chlorine pool can be a substitute for a bath, right? Because my 2.5yo is still riding that since Friday.
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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Swimming in a chlorine pool can be a substitute for a bath, right? Because my 2.5yo is still riding that since Friday.
Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) August 1, 2023
Got out of the pool a little too fast and my shorts came down a bit.
8yo: daddy I can see your bristles, you know your furry area, you know your welcome to the jungle, you know your wolf patch, you know your
me: got it thanks.
Got out of the pool a little too fast and my shorts came down a bit.
Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) June 28, 2023
8yo: daddy I can see your bristles, you know your furry area, you know your welcome to the jungle, you know your wolf patch, you know your
me: got it thanks.
You think youve prepared for every possibility and then you wear a bathing suit that has ties to the pool with your kids
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AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) June 30, 2018
Teach your kids not to pee in the pool but also teach them if it accidentally happens to not say anything about it.
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Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 27, 2019
Advertisement
Im sorry I missed your childhood, son, but I finally finished blowing up the pool inner tube you wanted.
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Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 15, 2021
My summer plans include rating 17 million pool handstands on a scale of 1-10 even though they are all pretty much 4s
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The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) June 6, 2022
At the hotel pool my 7yo stood in front of a Whirlpool jet and when it filled his swim trunks with water I asked WHATS IN YOUR PANTS? at which point he got out of the water and showed the entire pool what was in his pants, so apparently I need a new hotel now
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Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) February 23, 2024
pretending to be excited to watch my kid jump in the pool for the 10,000th time pic.twitter.com/BchVxLlfQj
Lil Bit (@LizerReal) June 25, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Lil Bit ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/LizerReal","cache_age":86400,"description":"pretending to be excited to watch my kid jump in the pool for the 10,000th time pic.twitter.com/BchVxLlfQj Lil Bit (@LizerReal) June 25, 2021\n\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Lil Bit on Twitter / 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Lil Bit (@LizerReal) June 25, 2021
Advertisement
Have kids so when you kill yourself buying, installing & maintaining a pool in your backyard for them, they can jump in for 2 whole seconds & spend the rest of the day crying that its too cold & all your fault
MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) July 12, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"MomTransparenting","author_url":"https://twitter.com/momtransparent1","cache_age":86400,"description":"Have kids so when you kill yourself buying, installing & maintaining a pool in your backyard for them, they can jump in for 2 whole seconds & spend the rest of the day crying that its too cold & all your fault MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) July 12, 2020\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"MomTransparenting on Twitter / 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MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) July 12, 2020
After the girls have played and splashed all over the pool, I tell them that it's fancy swim time. That means no more splashing or jumping on me. It's time to relax and swim like fancy ladies lmao
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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">After the girls have played and splashed all over the pool, I tell them that it's fancy swim time. That means no more splashing or jumping on me. It's time to relax and swim like fancy ladies lmao
Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) May 27, 2024
5yo: I'm not gonna get back in the pool.
Hubs: Why?!
5yo: It's wet.
H: Water is wet....
5yo: *exasperated* Yeah, and I don't want to be.
5yo: I'm not gonna get back in the pool.
3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) July 17, 2021
Hubs: Why?!
5yo: It's wet.
H: Water is wet....
5yo: *exasperated* Yeah, and I don't want to be.
Its Summertime. Kids at a pool near you need you to watch this.
NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) June 16, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"NicholasG","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Dad_At_Law","cache_age":86400,"description":"Its Summertime. Kids at a pool near you need you to watch this. 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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Its Summertime. Kids at a pool near you need you to watch this.
NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) June 16, 2021
Advertisement
Pools: Who should we employ to save the lives of the children in the pool. How about...other, older children?
Everyone: Yes, this is fine.
Pools: Who should we employ to save the lives of the children in the pool. How about...other, older children?
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 25, 2019
Everyone: Yes, this is fine.
5y.o: Why is the kiddie pool always warmer than the big pool?
Me: Its smaller, so the sun-
9: -warms all the pee inside it up faster.
5y.o: Why is the kiddie pool always warmer than the big pool?
Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 11, 2018
Me: Its smaller, so the sun-
9: -warms all the pee inside it up faster.
My girls were invited to a swim party and the mom asked for the kids to wear reef safe lotion so I dumped a bunch of goldfish in the pool so she made fucking sense.
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@itssherifield (@itssherifield) July 25, 2023
Every family has that one kid who likes to just hang out at the bottom of the pool to give his mother a heart attack. pic.twitter.com/rwdkGeaB5l
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Courtney Ellis (@courtneyellis) April 4, 2024
Advertisement
The lifeguards made everyone step out of the kiddie pool because a live frog had jumped into it, & Im thinking that a frog is one of the less disturbing things ending up in a kiddie pool.
Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 29, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Stephanie Ortiz","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Six_Pack_Mom","cache_age":86400,"description":"The lifeguards made everyone step out of the kiddie pool because a live frog had jumped into it, & Im thinking that a frog is one of the less disturbing things ending up in a kiddie pool. 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Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 29, 2018
I mistook my wifes pads for swim diapers. Now my toddler is the laughing stock of this pool.
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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">I mistook my wifes pads for swim diapers. Now my toddler is the laughing stock of this pool.
Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) August 5, 2019
Its almost time to lose countless hours of your life, adding to your already infinite laundry pile, by washing pool towels over and over and over every single day until you die.
I mean its almost summer.
Its almost time to lose countless hours of your life, adding to your already infinite laundry pile, by washing pool towels over and over and over every single day until you die.
Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) May 28, 2021
I mean its almost summer.
Me: don't drink that filthy pool water
Also me: you don't need a bath you just went swimming
Me: don't drink that filthy pool water
mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) August 25, 2021
Also me: you don't need a bath you just went swimming
Advertisement
Just adjusted the goggles of a rival dads kid at the pool and finally got them just right.
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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Just adjusted the goggles of a rival dads kid at the pool and finally got them just right.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 1, 2022
5-year-old: Are there sharks in the pool?
Me: No. Never.
5: Why not?
Me: The chlorine kills them.
It's Dad Science.
5-year-old: Are there sharks in the pool?
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 10, 2019
Me: No. Never.
5: Why not?
Me: The chlorine kills them.
It's Dad Science.
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Should I be concerned that when 6 throws her diving toys into the pool, she chants Drown! Drown! Drown! ??
Marissa (@michimama75) August 11, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Marissa ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/michimama75","cache_age":86400,"description":"Should I be concerned that when 6 throws her diving toys into the pool, she chants Drown! Drown! Drown! ?? 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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Should I be concerned that when 6 throws her diving toys into the pool, she chants Drown! Drown! Drown! ??
Marissa (@michimama75) August 11, 2022
Toddlers. Because someone needs to drink all that chlorinated pool water.
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Because someone needs to drink all that chlorinated pool water.
A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) February 12, 2018
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Find me someone more helpless than a parent who is fully clothed with a kid who refuses to get out of the pool
I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 5, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"I Hide From My Kids","author_url":"https://twitter.com/IHideFromMyKids","cache_age":86400,"description":"Find me someone more helpless than a parent who is fully clothed with a kid who refuses to get out of the pool I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 5, 2022\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"I Hide From My Kids on Twitter / 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pool","slug":"swimming-pool","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/swimming-pool","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/swimming-pool"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Find me someone more helpless than a parent who is fully clothed with a kid who refuses to get out of the pool
I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 5, 2022
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