Once youre married , weekends start to look a bit different than they did in the early days of your relationship especially if you have kids .
Gone are the Saturdays and Sundays spent lounging around the house during the day and getting dressed up for dates at night. Now your weekends likely consist of errands, house projects, early bedtimes and arguments over inane things. It may not be as relaxing or as flashy as the days of yore but theres something enjoyable about it all when youre doing it alongside someone you love.
Below are 29 hilariously accurate tweets about weekends as a married couple.
I told my husband he cant do yard work every weekend because we need to make memories while the kids are young, so now apparently well be cleaning out the gutters as a family next weekend
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 9, 2023"}">I told my husband he cant do yard work every weekend because we need to make memories while the kids are young, so now apparently well be cleaning out the gutters as a family next weekend
Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 9, 2023
This is a great weekend to clean out the garage, according to my wife and other people who wont be cleaning the garage.
The Dad (@thedad) May 27, 2023"}">This is a great weekend to clean out the garage, according to my wife and other people who wont be cleaning the garage.
The Dad (@thedad) May 27, 2023
My husband: Wanna clean the house this weekend?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Him: ...
Me: Oh my God you were serious
My husband: Wanna clean the house this weekend?
Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) October 31, 2019
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Him: ...
Me: Oh my God you were serious
this weekend we power washed the outside of our house because we know how to keep the marriage spark alive
nika (@nikalamity) October 15, 2023"}">this weekend we power washed the outside of our house because we know how to keep the marriage spark alive
nika (@nikalamity) October 15, 2023
Spending the weekend painting our bedroom because my husband and I felt like it had been too long since wed fought about how much paint to use before refilling the roller and who takes too many breaks to drink coffee.
Tori Fletcher (@hellotorifletch) March 13, 2021"}">Spending the weekend painting our bedroom because my husband and I felt like it had been too long since wed fought about how much paint to use before refilling the roller and who takes too many breaks to drink coffee.
Tori Fletcher (@hellotorifletch) March 13, 2021
Ah yes, the first NFL Sunday of the year, the day I sit on the couch with my wife while she watches every single football game and I scroll Instagram to see which WNBA players are flirting with each other.
Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) September 12, 2021"}">Ah yes, the first NFL Sunday of the year, the day I sit on the couch with my wife while she watches every single football game and I scroll Instagram to see which WNBA players are flirting with each other.
Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) September 12, 2021
My husband got tickets for a Saturday night event that has us out past midnight and Im not sure this is what I signed up for when we got married because that is way past my bedtime.
krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 14, 2023"}">My husband got tickets for a Saturday night event that has us out past midnight and Im not sure this is what I signed up for when we got married because that is way past my bedtime.
krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 14, 2023
My husband thinks I let him sleep in on the weekends because he works all week but really, it's because I'd rather drink my morning coffee in silence.
(@milliondollrfam) March 30, 2019"}">My husband thinks I let him sleep in on the weekends because he works all week but really, it's because I'd rather drink my morning coffee in silence.
(@milliondollrfam) March 30, 2019
Wife asks if you're planning to do anything on Saturday
Dad Moon Rising (@raoulvilla) October 14, 2021"}">Wife asks if you're planning to do anything on Saturday
Dad Moon Rising (@raoulvilla) October 14, 2021
WIFE: [watching me unwrap a 10th piece of candy] how many of those are you going to eat?
ME: its the weekend, this is how i party now
WIFE: [watching me unwrap a 10th piece of candy] how many of those are you going to eat?
mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 7, 2020
ME: its the weekend, this is how i party now
My wife said we need to evaluate the garage so there goes my weekend
McDad (@mcdadstuff) February 24, 2024"}">My wife said we need to evaluate the garage so there goes my weekend
McDad (@mcdadstuff) February 24, 2024
Making Sunday breakfast before marriage: Cute and fun
Making Sunday breakfast after marriage and kids: Rage beating eggs and passive aggressively burning bacon
Making Sunday breakfast before marriage: Cute and fun
Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) March 29, 2020
Making Sunday breakfast after marriage and kids: Rage beating eggs and passive aggressively burning bacon
Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 27, 2024"}">Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 27, 2024
Every Sunday my husband glares at me because I dont change out of pjs but at the end of the week I have less laundry so I win
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 9, 2020"}">Every Sunday my husband glares at me because I dont change out of pjs but at the end of the week I have less laundry so I win
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 9, 2020
It's 9:15 on Saturday night.
Pajamas?
Check.
Generic Oreos?
Check.
$6 champagne?
Check.
Married date night in progress. pic.twitter.com/Wdae0Q5c0p
It's 9:15 on Saturday night.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 5, 2017
Pajamas?
Check.
Generic Oreos?
Check.
$6 champagne?
Check.
Married date night in progress. pic.twitter.com/Wdae0Q5c0p
My wife deleted her Facebook app and now I dont know which events Ill go to on the weekend
Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 22, 2020"}">My wife deleted her Facebook app and now I dont know which events Ill go to on the weekend
Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 22, 2020
Going to surprise my wife and kids with a little Saturday shopping trip, hope they like buying mulch.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 14, 2024"}">Going to surprise my wife and kids with a little Saturday shopping trip, hope they like buying mulch.
Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 14, 2024
The best way to work out on a Sunday is by rage-vacuuming while your spouse naps, which burns way more calories than regular weekday vacuuming.
Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 25, 2022"}">The best way to work out on a Sunday is by rage-vacuuming while your spouse naps, which burns way more calories than regular weekday vacuuming.
Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 25, 2022
Husband and I like to spend our weekends shouting what did you say?! from another room
MumInBits (@MumInBits) August 19, 2019"}">Husband and I like to spend our weekends shouting what did you say?! from another room
MumInBits (@MumInBits) August 19, 2019
If it's Friday and your wife leaves the tape measure out, cancel your weekend plans.
dADDisms (@Beagz) April 2, 2021"}">If it's Friday and your wife leaves the tape measure out, cancel your weekend plans.
dADDisms (@Beagz) April 2, 2021
My husband chose this weekend to attempt to build a stone patio for his grill. Anyhoooo Im just watching him destroy our backyard two days before an outdoor party we are throwing. Its fine. Everything is fine. Perfectly. Fine.
Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 7, 2022"}">My husband chose this weekend to attempt to build a stone patio for his grill. Anyhoooo Im just watching him destroy our backyard two days before an outdoor party we are throwing. Its fine. Everything is fine. Perfectly. Fine.
Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 7, 2022
10: Can we go to the science center instead of hiking this weekend?
Husband: No, we can't change plans.
10: Why not?
Husband:
Husband: Because they're your mom's plans.
10: Can we go to the science center instead of hiking this weekend?
AparnaRC (@Wordesse) August 21, 2021
Husband: No, we can't change plans.
10: Why not?
Husband:
Husband: Because they're your mom's plans.
The biggest lie my wife & I tell ourselves is this will be the weekend we remember to donate those boxes of clothes
A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 17, 2022"}">The biggest lie my wife & I tell ourselves is this will be the weekend we remember to donate those boxes of clothes
A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 17, 2022
my husband: I need to take it easy this weekend
also, my husband: Im just going to cut down the tree in the front yard
my husband: I need to take it easy this weekend
mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) May 27, 2023
also, my husband: Im just going to cut down the tree in the front yard
I caught my wife looking at paint samples, so I could really use everyones thoughts and prayers as its far too early to tell what this means for my weekend
The Dad (@thedad) June 20, 2023"}">I caught my wife looking at paint samples, so I could really use everyones thoughts and prayers as its far too early to tell what this means for my weekend
The Dad (@thedad) June 20, 2023
My husband planned back-to-back activities for us this weekend like he forgot were both introverts.
krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 20, 2023"}">My husband planned back-to-back activities for us this weekend like he forgot were both introverts.
krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 20, 2023
9 out of 10 people agree that were a really fun household at the weekends as husband and I take turns to announce which household task were suffering next.
Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) January 14, 2024"}">9 out of 10 people agree that were a really fun household at the weekends as husband and I take turns to announce which household task were suffering next.
Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) January 14, 2024
I am my most ninja-like when my wife is still sleeping peacefully on weekend mornings, as I try to soundlessly slip out of the bedroom. While, on the rare occasions that I get to sleep in, she manages to leave the room with all the quiet grace of a 1970s Led Zeppelin hotel visit.
Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) February 17, 2024"}">I am my most ninja-like when my wife is still sleeping peacefully on weekend mornings, as I try to soundlessly slip out of the bedroom. While, on the rare occasions that I get to sleep in, she manages to leave the room with all the quiet grace of a 1970s Led Zeppelin hotel visit.
Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) February 17, 2024
my husband asked me for a divorce this weekend. I mean, he suggested we put peel and stick tiles on the ceiling, so, same-same
mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 5, 2023"}">my husband asked me for a divorce this weekend. I mean, he suggested we put peel and stick tiles on the ceiling, so, same-same
mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 5, 2023
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