How To Ensure A Family Fight This Christmas

Millennials have it rough. We are constantly being raked through the mud, forever being blamed, always and forever being chastised for our decisions. According to older generations (looking at you, Baby Boomers), were ruining everything this (once) great country has to offer. Were spoiled. Were needy. Were lazy. And, basically, everything is our fault. The economy? Our fault. Ruining the sanctity of marriage? On us. Destroying traditional work environments? That too. Diamonds? Department stores? Face to face time? Home ownership? Yep. Yep. Yep. And, yep.

Basically, everything good in terms of those born in post-war America is now being aggressively and actively ruined by those of us born in the 80s and 90s. And you know what? Were fine with it. In fact, were embracing it. Though we could carry on and on about all of the reasons why we have not and are not in fact ruining this country (and could easily instead argue that what we were handed was not so great to begin with), we wont. You know why? Because arguing with Baby Boomers turns into getting grilled on why you arent yet married to your live-in boyfriend and is completed with them asking for help updating their iPhone. Its a lose-lose, really.

So, since were already taking the non-combative approach to the whole millennials are ruining the country message theyre spreading, what if we were to, as Sheryl Sandberg would say, #LeanIn to it? As in, what if we were to truly embrace this badge of honor we have been given and think of additional ways to drive our parents and grandparents crazy? Yeah, we can tell youre digging the idea.

While it might seem like a strange thing to start with hear us out. What if we were to start our not-so-hostile takeover with... drum roll, please... wrapping paper?

Yeah. You can wipe that look off your face.

With the holidays coming, its pretty much guaranteed awkwardness. Once you get more than, say, five people in a room, disagreements start happening. And if those disagreements happen with people youre related to by blood and therefore have to love you no matter what? Even better. Add into it a contentious election year, a potential pedophile who may or may not have been elected to Congress, victims of sexual harassment and assault being named Time Magazines Person(s) of the Year, and a Hillary Clinton who *still* wont take a hint? Make sure your iPhones are charged. Someone is definitely crying at Christmas dinner this year.

Since the holidays are sure to be an absolute shit show, we might as well full on embrace it. And in that case, there is no better way to do it than with ridiculous presents wrapped in ridiculous paper. While we cant help you out with what to put inside the box (a MAGA shirt for your borderline communist uncle; a copy of What Happened for your aunt who calls her husband sir), we can help you with the wrapping paper. So, without further ado, let us introduce: Nastywrap .

Trump + Putin 4eva

Perfect for your family member who voted for Trump and insists that Hillary should be in jail for Russia and Benghazi and Paula Jones and #emails (or whatever it is that Mark Levin is telling them), this fun print of Trump and Putin dancing will be sure to get the political debates going nice and early. Because, who among us doesnt want to be screaming about politics before weve even had coffee? Ah, Christmas. What a magical time.

Frosty the Drunk

This one is for your teetotaler, Southern Baptist, dancing and drinking will send you straight into the pits of Hell aunt. While youre at it, make sure the gift inside is one of those grocery store gallons of wine. The card can say WWJD.

Up Yours Santa

Something for the kids! See? Unlike your mean Aunt Denise, Nastywrap is inclusive of everyone. Choose the sibling that is the strictest with their kids (you know, the one who monitors TV time and has self-diagnosed their kid with having Gluten Sensitivity) and buy the little rugrats some sort of aggressively adult video game wrapped in paper featuring Santa flipping the bird. This one is especially great as 1) the kids will love it and 2) your boring sibling will never make you shop for their kids again. Boom. Merry Christmas.