How To Explain Ben Carson's Internalized Racism To Future Children Of Color

On Monday, while addressing department employees, Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson referred to slaves as immigrants .

There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, Carson said , [who] worked even longer, even harder for less.

We dont know who hurt Carson. We dont know what led this accomplished individual to espouse something as troubling as the idea that slaves entered the United States with a dream. We dont know what made him believe it is okay to categorize slaves as immigrants.

What we do know is this: When immersed in environments where you are the sole minority, you are expected to assimilate to ideals that make everyone more comfortable. To achieve this, Carson exploited and revised the history of an entire race.

On paper, Carsons numerous accolades would make him an apt role model for any young person of color. But his misguided views and problematic attitudes toward his own race disqualify him from that honor.

The one good thing to come from this gaffe is the opportunity to provide young people of color with a valuable lesson.

While teaching self-love, you should also teach the perils of self-hate.

At a young age, minorities experience microaggressions designed to distinguish them as an Other. A microaggression is an act or statement that subtly degrades a person from a marginalized group. Microaggressions are typically unintentional and they are not limited to a culture it can apply to race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, or socioeconomic background.

Whether social paradigms are sourced from media or upbringing, stereotypes unconsciously instruct humans to perceive an individual as a representation of a group. The nefarious origins of microaggressions are hidden under the guise of seemingly innocent observation:

Hes a very well-spoken Black man.

All of my exes are Asian I have yellow fever.

So you two are gay which one is the boy and which one is the girl?

You act white.

Youre pretty for a ____.

Individuals who experience microaggressions are often perceived as being too sensitive if they respond negatively to a microaggression. The subtlety can make it difficult to distinguish what is normal and what is problematic. Unfortunately, this results in the acceptance of microaggression. Let your child know that microaggressions should be challenged even if they are presented as harmless.

You are expected to serve as an ambassador for an entire culture and if you do not live up to tropes established by the status quo, the authenticity of your identity is challenged. Individuality is not something your child needs to hide or disenfranchise it should be celebrated. Every attempt to demean your childs individuality should be met with resistance. Let your child know that they are deserving of respect regardless of their identity.

Carson is the product of prolonged exposure to microaggressions, which resulted in the complete rejection of his own culture. Because non-Whites are taught that White is the superior and ideal race, many young people of color are in danger of believing their own culture is inferior, which results in self-hate. Instead of embracing your own identity and allowing it to become part of your culture, you are encouraged to erase every trace of your race in an attempt to assimilate to a racial identity that is not your own.

Carson is what happens when the insidious malignancy of systemic racism instructs a person of color to dilute the potency of their rich culture after they are cajoled into believing their ethnicity is something they should diminish. The effects are far-reaching, and, in extreme cases, it can result in internalized racism.

Let Carsons internalized racism serve as a cautionary tale: Arm your child with weapons of resilience, which will help them combat microaggressions.

At some point in your son or daughters life, someone within your childs own race will accuse them of acting White and expect them to feel shame. At another point in your childs life, someone outside of his or her race will offer praise for acting White and expect your child to take it as a compliment. Your child should know that intelligence, success, beauty, behavior, and preferences will be judged in tandem with Whiteness.

Accusing a non-White person of acting White reaffirms a Jim Crow racial caste system it is inadvertently intended to typecast a person of color and make them feel ashamed for stepping outside of their assumed role.

The persistent examination of the exotic, and ultimately, the instinct to separate oneself from the Other is an obstacle your child will have to contend on a daily basis. From classmates giggling at your childs packed lunch to strangers adding or subtracting value based on whether or not your child speaks an assumed language that correlates with the color of their skin it all stings.

Let your child know its okay if it stings. Encourage your child to let it sting. Empower your child with the emotional support they need to adequately challenge these microaggressions without succumbing to the urge to normalize unconscious racism.

Carsons case is an extreme one. Instead of challenging microaggressions, Carson has embraced them. It is easy to dismiss Carsons egregiously erroneous statement as an amusing punch line, but his behavior speaks to something much more reprehensible.

While attempting to rewrite his identity in a way that is aesthetically pleasing to his predominantly white surroundings, in the same sweeping gesture, Carson attempted to revise an entire cultures history.

Show your child that even people of color can be complicit in institutionalized racism.

Carson can serve as an example for what your child should not do. You do not revise historical events in a way that romanticizes the atrocities suffered by marginalized groups. You should not add your voice to the overwhelming chorus propelling the belief that a lack of color makes someone superior to all other groups.

It can also open up the conversation to other harmful acts that may arise in your childs life. When Halloween comes around and its time to pick out a costume, you can teach your child about the harmful practice of Othering. You can explain the damaging repercussions of exploiting another persons exoticness. You can discourage the practice of disrespectful racial appropriation.

Being non-White isnt something to be ashamed of and it isnt something you should be expected to defend with every Bad and Boujee reference. You can have brown skin and listen to Jeff Buckley. You can read Tolstoy and religiously watch Desus & Mero. Eclecticism is not the denial of your own culture. Your culture is a part of your identity, but it does not punctuate who you are. Microaggressions are designed to do just that. If we teach self-love at an early age, it may help prevent the self-hate that led Carson to adopt internalized racism.

We have a responsibility to encourage our young to celebrate individuality and prepare them to face the microaggressions that Carson was unable or unwilling to overcome.

Gabrielle Dunkley is the author of the How To Explain The Confirmation Of Jeff Sessions To Future Children Of Color . Dunkleys Future Children Of Color series as well as her political and social commentary can be found here .