How To Rock Being "The Young Mom"

When I first became a mom, I was stuck between my old carefree 20-something self and the person I thought a mom should be. My twin babies were born when I was 27 years old. Now I know Im no teen mom, and I know that in many parts of the U.S., thats a pretty average age to have babies.

However, in Los Angeles and most major cities, careers come first and having babies is usually reserved for your 30s or 40s. When youre the first of your friends to take the plunge into motherhood, you become an oddity and its up to you to figure out how to rock being the young mom.  

Be True to Yourself

Ive said it before; the transition into motherhood is a doozy. As a young mom, youre faced with your own set of challenges. Not only are you trying to figure out who you are as a mother, but youre also trying to find out who you are as a grown-up. Forget your teen years motherhood is the real coming-of-age story. 

Before kids, I thought that I would make my own organic baby food and cook up healthy Pinterest recipes. I figured thats what real moms do, right? Wrong. I quickly realized that just because youre a mom, it doesnt mean that youre going to suddenly love cooking and cleaning. I hate cooking and cleaning. And thats OK. 

Its also OK to still do the things you loved pre-kids. Just because youre a mom doesnt mean you have to roll over and die. Go to concerts, go out with friends, blast music in the car. You have so many more responsibilities at home than the majority of your peers. Give yourself some credit and let your hair down every once in awhile. 

Get Help

Just because you can physically do it on your own, doesnt mean that you should. It isnt healthy to be with your kids 24/7. They need a break from you to become their own little people and learn how to separate. When I first brought my babies home, I had terrible guilt leaving them with sitters. They would cry when I left. But guess what? They would also cry when I was home. Babies cry. Thats what they do. 

Now Im not saying you should be an absentee parent, but its completely appropriate to have a sitter for at least a few hours per week. Even if youre getting out to just have a cup of coffee alone, you need that time to unwind. Parenting is no joke. Take care of yourself. 

Know Social Media Isnt Real

As millennials, we are inundated with impossibly perfect shots on Instagram and Facebook . When youre the first of your friends to have a baby, you rely on what you see in the media to prepare you for parenthood. Know that social media isnt real life. It doesnt give you a realistic look at the day-to-day life of parenthood. 

I babysat a lot before I had kids and thought I understood parenthood. So wrong. What social media doesnt show you is the all-consuming nature of it all. You dont just give the kids back at the end of the day. There is no clocking out. There are many times when our lives are far from perfect. Accepting and embracing that imperfection is the only way to happiness. Thats what makes the sweet moments so much sweeter. 

Find Your People

Its true that mommyhood is a little like being in school again yourself. You will need to find your people. Just as you did on the first day of school or the first day of work, youll need to scan the playground and find your people. Its so important to find other parents who you can identify with. Youre going through this journey at the same time and youll need to lean on them. 

Friendships Evolve

As you transition into parenthood, your old friendships evolve. Some of your single friends may drop off the face of the earth. Thats OK. They may come back into your life later. Your true friends will be there for you even if you arent able to see them a frequently as you did pre-kids. Think about your single friends perspectives, too. They may assume that you are always busy with the kids or have plans with other families. And you probably assume that your single friends are busy living their lives. Break that cycle. Just because your lives are at different points, doesnt mean they cant intersect. 

Nobody Knows What Theyre Doing

Its safe to say Im the youngest mom in the room 99 percent of the time. On the rare occasion that I see someone my age, they generally turn out to be the nanny. Instinctively I get that voice in my head that says, Youre a fraud! You arent supposed to be here! All the other parents are going to figure out youre young! The faster you realize that nobody knows what theyre doing, the faster youll be able to tell that inner voice to shut up. 

In my short 2 1/2 years of parenting, Ive realized that no new parents know what theyre doing. Even if they read a million books and attend a million parenting lectures, we are all human and you need to find what works for you and your kids. Although older parents may have more life experience than you, it doesnt mean that they have any more parenting experience than you. 

Ditch the FOMO

If youre among the first of your friends to have a baby, its natural to look at your single friends carefree travel photos and wild nights out and feel a little FOMO. Know that comparing lives will get you nowhere. There are so many amazing things about being a parent. Its a gift that not everyone will receive. You may not be able to go on spontaneous adventures or have frequent lavish meals like you used to (unless youre Beyonce and have a team of people behind you), but you CREATED A HUMAN. Or two! Thats amazing!

Parenthood absolutely changes you. Everything from your relationship with your partner to your body will be different. But at your core, youre still you. Dont lose sight of that when youre just trying to survive this crazy ride.