Jason Tartick On Why Couples Must Talk About Money

Money is often a tough topic in relationships, but avoiding it completely only sets the stage for bigger problems down the line. According to finance expert Jason Tartick, financial transparency isnt just important its essential for couples who want to build a lasting partnership. In fact, studies have shown that money disagreements are among the leading causes of tension , and avoiding these conversations often leads to more significant problems down the road.

So, how can couples get comfortable with the money talk? We sat down with Tartick, author of Talk Money to Me: The 8 Essential Financial Questions to Discuss With Your Partner, to learn why financial transparency is a must and how to ease into these potentially daunting conversations. (Watch the video above.)

Why Money Talks Matter

For couples whether married or cohabiting the impact of not discussing finances can be substantial. If youre not talking about money, its having a huge impact on the success of the relationship, Tartick said. He stressed that the discomfort many couples feel around financial conversations is common, but its something that needs to be addressed. 

So, how do you break the ice? Tartick suggested starting small and light. Talk about something fun, he said. Discuss where youd want to go on vacation or ask, If we hit the lottery today and won a million bucks, how would we spend it? These casual conversations can create a safe space for more serious financial topics later.

The Danger Of Financial Flexing And Debt Shaming

While Tartick encourages transparency, he also warned against behaviors that can backfire, such as financial bragging or debt shaming. We all know that one person who flexes and brags about what they make or what they have. Thats extremely unproductive, Tartick said.

When it comes to debt, he advised putting everything on the table. Hiding debt only breeds resentment, while open discussions can lead to solutions. Debt can be restructured, refinanced, or repaid faster when both people work together, he explained. The key is to be open, honest, and solution-focused rather than letting financial issues fester.

How To Merge Finances Without Resentment

Merging finances is a common milestone for many couples, but it can also be fraught with tension.

For those couples who decide to merge finances, Tartick recommends a hybrid approach. If youre earning up to 30% of one another, have your own individual accounts. Have freedom with your money. Then, create a joint account to cover shared expenses like rent, utilities and vacations. This setup allows couples to maintain independence while still working toward common financial goals.

The Link Between Financial Transparency And Intimacy

The effects of financial disagreements can be far-reaching. Based on a study he conducted for his book, Tartick said three-quarters of married or cohabiting couples say money arguments play a material role in their relationship. And over half of them report that these arguments negatively impact their intimacy. 

Money issues can lead to a decrease in closeness because of the resentment and lack of communication, he said. By having open and honest conversations about finances, couples can build a stronger foundation and a financial plan that works for both of them.