Many of us do this thing where we take celebrities off their perch, put them in our coat pockets and bring them home. We sit them at our dinner table. We talk about them. We speak for them. And because they create art that speaks to us, we feel like they hear us and they get us. They see us, too.

Maybe thats our fault. Maybe its the internets, or maybe its theirs. Its a weird relationship between the artist and the fan, the admirer and those worthy of admiration, and social media keeps closing the distance.

So we need to talk about Kanye West.

Because Kanye West keeps talking to us.

He keeps asking us for advice.

He. Keeps. Tweeting.

He. Keeps. Posting. On. Instagram.

Hes posted intimate details about his relationship . About his hate for his ex Kim Kardashians new man . About his kids . About the lengths her family is taking to keep him away . About the house he purchased across the street from Kims .

And all the toxicity, the triggering, the gaslighting and the attention from the media and fans is normalizing poisonous and unhealthy behavior. And hes using us to do it by weaponizing his fame.

West is using his status and social platforms (hes got 13.5 million followers on Instagram alone) to intimidate Kim Kardashian and her new beau, comedian Pete Davidson. Hes called for his followers to yell Kimye forever should they ever see the couple in real life.

Earlier this week, he posted and then subsequently removed a screenshot on Instagram of a text that he claimed was sent by Kardashian: U are creating a dangerous and scary environment and someone will hurt Pete and this will all be your fault.

In a different post, he wrote, UPON MY WIFES REQUEST PLEASE NOBODY DO ANYTHING PHYSICAL TO SKETE IM GOING TO HANDLE THE SITUATION MYSELF. The post was accompanied by a photo of actor Ving Rhames choking co-star Tyrese Gibson from the movie Baby Boy.

He then posted a screenshot of a message he presumably sent to Kim: I will always do everything to protect you and our family forever. And I listened to you and told everyone to make sure nothing physical happens to Skete.

West often refers to Davidson as Skete , along with other names such as that dickhead and Hillary Clintons ex-boyfriend.

Then, a text allegedly sent by Kardashian asks West, Why cant you keep any of our conversations private???

West responded, Because I got a text from my favorite person in the world, adding that he is her number one fan and then following up with, Why wouldnt I tell everyone!!!!! He also posted a photo of himself holding a handwritten note claiming that his account was not hacked.

And then, West took us off the group chat. He deleted all of his posts from Instagram except for one, a montage of Kardashian with three of the couples four children alongside the caption: GOD PLEASE BRING OUR FAMILY BACK TOGETHER.

It might happen. It probably wont.

Its important to note that West didnt just lose Kardashian he lost her to the anti-Kanye. The two men couldnt be more opposite. Kanye West makes it a point not to smile in photos. Pete Davidson makes people smile for a living. West considers himself to be a fashion god. Davidson dresses like a college student on laundry day. Kanye West pals around with some of the biggest names in hip-hop. Davidson is friends with Machine Gun Kelly, and the two men take photos like this .

And none of this matters. Yet, all of this matters. Davidson could be the love of Kardashians life. He could also be holding space long enough for West and his antics to disappear. Davidson could be an oxygen tank, or he could be a Band-Aid. Thats for Kim to determine, not us. Whats of concern is Kanyes disturbing history of broadcasting his issues with his estranged wife when he doesnt get his way. His adult male temper tantrum is not only invasive; its volatile and destructive.

All of it the threats, the fragility of the male ego, the dissolution of the relationship is toxic, and it needs to stop being reported about as if its typical celebrity gossip. Its not. Media and onlookers need to stop participating in the drama. They need to stop sending messages like, Thats right, Kanye, fight for your family. Because hes not fighting for anything other than a date with a judge about a restraining order. At some point, men must learn to handle heartbreak without threats of violence and incessantly aggravating an ex on social media. It isnt just manipulative, intimidating and scary to women. Its a matter of life or death especially when you consider that the leading cause of homicide for women worldwide is domestic violence .

In 2017, roughly 87,000 women were murdered around the world, and more than half of them were killed by partners or family members, according to a United Nations report . More than a third of those who were intentionally killed that year were murdered by a current or former intimate partner.

I keep wondering, who are Wests big homies? Not the famous ones, but the ones who have known him long enough and whose voices he trusts so they can pull his coattails and tell him how not to be this guy. Then, I saw him in photos at the Super Bowl LVI with former NFL wide receiver Antonio Brown, and it made sense.

Brown has been the model for toxic men whove grown tired of hearing about Tristan Thompsons evasion of child support . West and Brown have been palling around ever since the latter took off his jersey midgame and walked off the field. In 2018, a female trainer filed a civil lawsuit against Brown, claiming she was sexually assaulted. In 2019, Brown was accused of pushing a woman with two hands, causing her to fall . From 2015 to 2019, police were dispatched on domestic violence calls to Browns house four different times. And then there was this video of Brown yelling at police and his longtime girlfriend Chelsie Kyriss, the mother of three of his five children: You look like a fucking fish. A fucking fish out of water. You look dead. Warning: The video is disturbing.

All of this is beyond the death of Wests mother, which some people have used to explain his erratic behavior. It is also beyond his struggles with mental health, which he reportedly doesnt take medication for . This is about men. This is about toxic behavior being allowed to persist for too long. Its about the haphazard mistreatment of women while actively being in your problem and doing nothing to fix it. Its about surrounding yourself with equally toxic men who curse their childrens mother in front of their kids. Its about us, the gawkers slowing up traffic because we cant help but stare at the wreckage on the side of the road.

West wont leave his estranged wife alone. Hes using his social media platform to scare her and posting intimidating messages and images toward her new boyfriend. And yes, I saw his apology he updated his Instagram again, leaving only his apology and a message of encouragement hes received but this is also a part of the abusive cycle. Catch me in a few days when Kim doesnt fold to his demands. Its time for West and men like himmen struggling with complicated feelings, men who are too tough for therapy and medication, and men who would rather use their fists to tear things down than sit with the emotions that come with rejectionto seek help. Its also time for the media to stop indulging in the circus of catastrophe for destructions sake.

There are real lives involved here, and no matter how many reality TV episodes Kardashian has done, she didnt ask for this, nor does she deserve it.

But we dont like to talk about that.

CORRECTION: A previous version of this story incorrectly ranked the leading causes of death for women worldwide.