SATIRE: May Dismayed Over Upcoming Meeting With Trump

LONDON It was announced yesterday that Prime Minster of the United Kingdom and leader of the Conservative Party, Theresa May will visit Donald Trump at the White House in Washington D.C. this Spring. The decision was reached only after May declined an offer to perform at President-Elect Trumps inauguration on January 20th which is apparently struggling to land major talent (unlike Obamas farewell party this evening ). Still, in light of the announcement May and many other leaders find themselves scrambling ahead of their scheduled visits to D.C.

It is reported that May sought the counsel not from some of her foreign policy wonks but rather her young digital aides at Number 10, to get a sense of trending talking points ahead of the meeting. While taking tea this afternoon, May is said to have convened with the younger staffers to understand how to best proceed with Trump in his ever-grown reliance on digital communications, including tips on what to do when Trumps attention inevitably shifts to his Android.

One must be careful not to show President Trump up, May was quoted saying before debating whether or not to leverage a paid service to grow her Twitter followers from a measly 200K followers . May was also quoted asking, Is that not good? Two hundred thousand? I thought we only joined in June?

While the new Prime Minister has tweeted just 188 times since launching her Twitter presence, she was surprised to learn that soon-to-be President Trump had tweeted as many times in the last two weeks alone, including over the observed holiday period.

The aides were then said to walk May through Trumps recent Twitter activites which included attacking a former governor and celebrity , lying about Mexicos involvement in the construction of an impossible wall and pushing debunked conspiracy theories about the hacking fiasco in light of evidence to the contrary to name a few.

Enough! May is said to have shouted. I will compliment his tie and his daughter, surely that will be enough? Foreign policy aides are said to be hammering out the exact details of the forthcoming compliments now.