Never Underestimate the Ninja

Part One

I see you fast asleep in your slumber, dreaming of sunshine, beaches and cocktails. I creep up on you.

You are blissfully unaware of the door creaking.  You don’t hear the creeping of my little footsteps.  You have no idea I am here.

I am silent, yet quick; I am experienced at this.  I know precisely what to do to ensure that I get my way.

Quietly, I stand motionless, watching you sleep, thinking: she will never know I am here.

As you turn over I realise this is my chance.  Now or never.  I have done this many times.  I am smart.

Like only a ninja can, I creep in beside you without being discovered.

I know that there is only one way this will work.  I must fall asleep … fast.  If asleep, I know you won’t wake me. I know that you will let me sleep.

I am a professional at this; I know the score.

Quick as a flash, my eyes are closed.  I am asleep, dreaming of ice-cream, parks and cuddles.

Part Two

I start to wake from my slumber, blissfully unaware of the events that have just happened right in front of me.

I wonder why suddenly it feels like I have no room in my super-king-size bed.  An elbow sticks into my ribs.

That is when it dawns on me: he has done it again.

I look over and watch as he breathes deeply, long lashes resting.  So handsome.  Innocence radiates from his peaceful face.

I think: I can’t disturb him; he looks so calm.

I resign myself to the fact that, once again, there are three in the bed. This time, however, the little one said nothing.

The ninja is clever.  The ninja is smart.  Never underestimate the ninja.

This post is a follow up to Exit Strategy .  A version of this post originally appeared here , on the blog Double the Monkey Business