6 Ways To Help Your Child Shift From Shyness To Confidence

Its one thing to be introverted because were naturally a bit reserved, reflective just, more quiet.

Its quite another thing for a child to be shy because theyre afraid to speak up (I might get criticized) or they lack confidence (I dont have anything smart to say!).

When a child feels shy, thats a lonely place to be and as a parent, its your job to do what you can to help your child build confidence.

Here are 6 simple ways to start:

1. Let your child finish his or her sentences.

Many well-intentioned parents like to jump in while their child is speaking, offering good thoughts and ideas essentially finishing their childs sentences for them.

This doesnt help your childs confidence (I guess what Im saying must not matter or be interesting.) After your child has finished their sentence, then by all means, share your insights and ideas.

2. Dont interrupt.

It happens. A lot. You may be excited about what your child is saying, and filled with ideas to share. So you butt in, while your childs in mid-sentence. If you do that enough times, your child is at risk for withdrawing (I guess moms ideas are more important than mine.)

3. Dont criticize.

Its almost a guarantee that if your child knows they will be criticized, they will keep a tight lip. Makes sense. (Why speak if what I say will get shut down.) And parents often wonder why, when they ask their child a question, the answer is: I dunno.

4. Listen.

Its natural for children to want to share, especially with people whom they trust.

If your child feels that sharing with you is safe (i.e., they wont get criticized or interrupted, and they can take their time to finish their sentences), watch them open up. Watch their personality begin to blossom.

5. Praise.

I cant emphasize this enough: validate your child when he or she says something thats praise-worthy. We all love compliments. And when we get them, it feels so good that we want more. Which means were motivated to keep doing whatever earned us the praise in the first place. Thats a great confidence-builder.

6. Do a self-examination.

Where are you on the shy scale (10 = confident; 0 = super shy?) Are you role-modeling shy behavior for your child? If yes, take steps to remedy that. For your sake, and for your child.

If it feels right, you may want to start with self-help or if you want to expedite things, you might consider consulting a professional (for yourself, and possibly even for your child.)

These tips can help you give your child the gift of shifting from shyness to confidence. Of course there are many other scenarios and reasons for why a child might be shy, and many other fixes. But this is a start. The goal? That your child enjoy a happy, healthy childhood which equips him or her for a happy, confident life as a grown-up.

Suzanne Gelb, PhD, JD , is a clinical psychologist, life coach, and author. She believes that it is never too late to become the person you want to be: Strong. Confident. Calm. Creative. Free of all of the burdens that have held you backno matter what has happened in the past.

Her insights on personal growth have been featured on more than 200 radio programs, 260 TV interviews and online on Time, Forbes, Newsweek, Psychology Today, NBC's Today, The Daily Love, Positively Positive, and much more.

To learn more, visit DrSuzanneGelb.com .

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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always contact your qualified health provider before implementing or modifying any personal growth or wellness program or technique, and with any questions about your well-being.

Copyright 2017 Dr. Suzanne Gelb, All rights reserved.