5 Ways Restaurant Workers Wish You'd Be A Better Customer

Your favorite restaurant isnt what it used to be. Staff shortages are an ongoing issue, food costs are soaring and customer behavior can be off the rails. With so many food service professionals under more stress than ever, those of us on the other side of the serving tray could use a little brush-up on the basic manners and common sense that make their lives just a little bit easier.

As much as we need restaurants, our behavior is making it harder and harder for people to find fulfilling careers in food service. This is one of the hardest businesses to work in, filled with thankless days and hard bone-crushing hours, but vitally important for neighborhoods, community and joy, said Chef Rossi , an author , executive chef and owner of New Yorks The Raging Skillet . Folks forgot how lonely and depressed they were when restaurants shut down during the pandemic. Be grateful and be nice, for crying out loud, and treat others as you want to be treated.

We spoke with chefs, bartenders, caterers, servers and restaurant owners to discover the ways they wish youd consider behaving better this year.

Respect your reservation.

Unless youve had a job at the host stand of a bustling restaurant, you probably have no idea how many unending requests, changes and customer goof-ups that someone in this role regularly encounters. So when you make a reservation, be clear what youre asking for and make your own notes as confirmation.

Of course, changes happen, but your attitude makes a difference. If you want to add additional people to a reservation, for example, be patient, said chef Eric Adjepong , host of Food Networks Alex vs. America . Keep in mind that the people who are serving you are also people, so be kind to them.

On the date and time of your reservation, be front-and-center at the hostess stand, dressed appropriately for the space, with your entire party in tow. Anything less than that is putting a strain on the delicate house of cards that any set of restaurant reservations represents.

My big thing is showing up on time, explained Robert Irvine , a chef, restaurant owner, author and 22-season host of Food Networks Restaurant: Impossible . When youre late, it creates a ripple effect for everyone not just the staff, but also the customers wholl get that table after you. Remember that the restaurant isnt just doing business by serving only you. They need to turn the table over to make a living, and when you show up late, it makes that much harder to do.

Dont say you have an allergy just because you dont like an ingredient.

Roberta dElia , head chef at Pasta Evangelists  in the U.K., has this plea for customers: Please dont say you have an allergy only because you dont like something. We take allergens extremely seriously and put in extra time and care for customers who report having an allergy. So save restaurant staff the stress if this is something you dont really suffer from.

Also, consider the impact of your special requests. Please dont ask the kitchen to leave out certain ingredients like garlic from sauces, because these are not made individually, but in batches, she said. Its not practical to leave out one ingredient from a prepared dish.

If you can afford to eat out, you can afford to tip.

For food service workers, tips arent a luxury, theyre a necessity. Industry wages are set very low, with the rationale that tips will make up the difference. According to the U.S. Department of Labor , workers who receive tips on the job legally can make just $2.13 an hour from their employers.

A standard tip is considered to be 15 to 20% of the pretax bill. And if youre tipping in a sit-down restaurant, be aware that the amount you tip probably wont all go to your server, since they often pool tips with the bartender, busser, hostess and food runners. You may even have noticed menu options to include beers for the kitchen, so you can easily tip the folks behind the scene. 

Plenty of us are getting it right. A recent Bankrate survey reported that more than two-fifths (44%) of U.S. adults at sit-down restaurants typically tip at least 20%. But there are still some people who dont tip, or who dont tip well, and thats an issue for many in the industry. 

Ive always felt strongly that there is a special place in hell for lousy tippers, Rossi said. Often, lousy tippers are the same folks who expect great food and great service while being very demanding. If I could be hired as a consultant by God, I would suggest sentencing these people to spend eternity working for tips-only, with customers just like them.

Dont use a raised voice or snap your fingers to get your servers attention.

Aside from lousy tippers, there is nothing worse in the world than folks who think its OK to bully and abuse restaurant staff, Rossi said. Why on earth do these people think they are better than their waiter?

And if you want better service, heres a news flash that kind of attitude isnt the way to get it. Before I became a chef, I was a bartender, Rossi recalled. The moment a customer raised their voice or snapped their fingers at me, I went deaf. I no longer would hear anything they had to say or ask for.

Andrew Zimmern , host of Outdoor Channels Wild Game Kitchen , has done every possible food service job, from dishwasher to executive chef to restaurant owner. He despairs at the breakdown in civility that customer service workers are experiencing: Anyone behind a counter, from airline employees to deli workers, hotel staff to restaurant employees, is getting abused in greater numbers today than ever before, he said. Who do these entitled people think they are? Buying a sandwich or a $500 bottle of wine doesnt give you the right to be discourteous and offensive, to behave poorly or raise your voice to someone.

Adrianne Calvo , owner and chef of Chef Adriannes Vineyard Restaurant & Bar in Miami and host of the Searching for Maximum Flavor podcast, offered up a hard agree to that sentiment. I wish customers would show more kindness and empathy toward service staff. Those that want to serve others are a dying breed, and Im concerned for the health and longevity of our industry. We are a people business for people, by people. To be able to continue to staff and grow our industry, respect and kindness must be at the center of it.

Shes joined in this sentiment by Keyatta Mincey Parker , the Atlanta-based chief curating officer at Pictures and Cocktails , and founder and executive director of A Sip of Paradise Garden , a community garden for bartenders. Shes worked in hospitality since age 16, and has hosted, served, bartended, managed and worked as a fry cook, as well as having run bar programs for restaurants, nightclubs and hotels. What does she want from customers? The one wish I have for restaurant patrons is to be kinder to the people taking care of them in these spaces. It takes more effort to be mean, and it takes nothing to smile and be kind.

She offers this tip for putting yourself in someone elses shoes: Its hard to wake up every day and choose to serve. A lot of times, people in our industry are the last stop of the day for a customer whos already experienced a lot of things that have nothing to do with us. But people take it out on us. Were just as human as you are, so please give us the same kindness and respect you would want for yourself.

Have grace when posting about your experience on social media.

I wish that every less-than-perfect moment in a restaurant wouldnt make it to a social platform or consumer site immediately, without the poster giving the establishment a chance to correct or make it right, Calvo said. I wish guests wouldnt do things like give one-star reviews because they didnt agree with your dress code policy.

The experts we spoke with also suggest giving credit to the geniuses behind your Insta-worthy entre. Social media has foodies who take pictures and share what theyre eating, but rarely do they give any credit to the chef who created that dish, Irvine said. They use posts as their own ego boosts to brag about eating out and loving life. But its so important to credit the chefs themselves and help to build their following, too. Please, celebrate chefs the same way you would a musician at a concert.