Everything Thanksgiving: Get all our Thanksgiving recipes, how-tos and more !

Norman Rockwell may have depicted Thanksgiving dinner as a glowing, joyous affair , but many of us know that thats simply not reality . Whats usually thicker: Moms gravy or the tension at the dinner table? Despite the bumpiness thats part and parcel for holiday gatherings, not getting to travel to see family is a bummer this year. Thanks to the advent of Zoom, though, many families are able to gather virtually.

A virtual gathering still calls for proper etiquette, though. No one wants to look at a screen filled with screaming squares. Whether youre hosting or attending a virtual Thanksgiving gathering, here are some expert etiquette tips.

You cant avoid the p words, but you can be tactful

A big election will have just taken place and the pandemic is the reason were having a virtual gathering in the first place. So, as much as general consensus suggests that you shouldnt talk about politics at the dinner table, its going to be unavoidable this year and thats OK.

Its important to check in on your friends and family, said Thomas P. Farley, who is better known by the moniker Mister Manners . We know from all the research that its a time of high social anxiety, theres depression, there are genuine mental health and emotional concerns, he said. If were not inquiring about the well-being of our loved ones, I think were doing them a disservice. But, he suggests having those conversations one-on-one ahead of the Thanksgiving gathering. That way the meal isnt being dominated by conversation about the pandemic, but its not being ignored, either.

Its also to be expected that people will want to talk about current events including politics and racial injustice, said Elaine Swann , an etiquette expert based in California.

Its acceptable to engage in these conversations, she said. However, I do believe that it should be approached with compassion for others, and consideration and compassion for those who attend the gathering.

One option is to consider putting people in breakout rooms, she said. Breakout rooms are sessions that split off from the main Zoom meeting, allowing participants to meet in smaller groups that are private and isolated from the audio/video of the main session. Let them have at it and enjoy, because some people really enjoy that sort of banter, she said with a laugh.