The worst part of having a school-aged kid is having to put on a bra & pretend I wasn't in my pajamas all day when it's time to pick her up.

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My 11 year-old was saying her bedtime prayers and she had the nerve to ask God for mommy to be on time for school pick up tomorrow. IVE BEEN LATE ONCE.

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In hell, the lady in front of you in the school pick up line's kid never finishes getting his seat belt on.

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how awkward am i?

a mom at school pick-up introduced herself to me and said her name to me 3 times and i said how nice it was to meet her

and as i drove off i realized she probably wanted to know my name in return

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School pick up is done so now I can change out of my nice track pants and into my extra comfy leggings.

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I successfully backed into a parking spot at school pick up so excuse me while I ride this high for the rest of the ye- oh theres a traffic cone stuck under my car. Never mind.

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As a dad with a full time job I dont get to pick up my 4 year old from school very often. But the times I finish early and go to surprise him are worth it when I see his little face, and he sees me, and he holds out his arms, and shouts out: Urgh I wanted mummy to pick me up!

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Husband said he'll do dishes for a week if I pick up the kids from school in my footie pj's & I'm like ok, except I've already done it twice

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Ive been sitting in this school pick up line so long, I have vultures circling

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I was gonna get my toddler her favorite smoothie and surprise her with it at school pick up but then realized if I do it today shes gonna expect it tomorrow and every day after that and THIS, this is why she cant have nice things.

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School drop off me and school pick up me are not the same person

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How much time passes from the minute I drop kids at school until I pick them up 7 hrs later:

approx 37 min

How much time passes from the minute I pick them up from school until they finally fall asleep that night:

exactly 19 days, 22 hours, 49 minutes and 37 seconds

MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) February 5, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"MomTransparenting","author_url":"https://twitter.com/momtransparent1","cache_age":86400,"description":"How much time passes from the minute I drop kids at school until I pick them up 7 hrs later: approx 37 minHow much time passes from the minute I pick them up from school until they finally fall asleep that night: exactly 19 days, 22 hours, 49 minutes and 37 seconds MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) February 5, 2020\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"MomTransparenting on 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Im not the mom socializing or making small talk on the playground at school pick up. Im the mom, hiding in my car, scrolling social media.

Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 31, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Scary Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/ScaryMommy","cache_age":86400,"description":"Im not the mom socializing or making small talk on the playground at school pick up. Im the mom, hiding in my car, scrolling social media. 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My 5-year-old daughter is confident, happy, and not afraid to speak her mind. All these amazing qualities come out at once when she announces that she has to poop to her entire kindergarten class when I pick her up from school.

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I'm all about kindness for and acceptance of other women.

Except at school drop off and pick up. Then I'm only like: \"Move, bitch. Get out the way!\"

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I get to school pick up an hour early because its relaxing and I enjoy being the line leader. Am I ok?

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My favorite cardio workout is the one when I overestimate the time I have to holiday shop before rushing back to pick my kids up from school.

Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) December 20, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Stephanie Ortiz","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Six_Pack_Mom","cache_age":86400,"description":"My favorite cardio workout is the one when I overestimate the time I have to holiday shop before rushing back to pick my kids up from school. 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Other kids at school pick up: *happy talk *

My son at school pickup: We heard a story about a king who was old, like 47, and he died and I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE WHEN YOU GET OLD

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Me: I'll meet you in the pick-up line after school.

5-year-old: You don't drive a pickup. You drive a van.

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That scene in A Christmas Story when the dad is fixing the furnace except its me in the school pick up line.

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A pissing contest but its just moms at school pick up competing over whose kid was sicker this past winter.

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[phone rings]
\"Mr Hughes?\"
\"Yeah.\"
\"We need u to come pick yr son up from school.\"
\"Ugh. Whats he done now?\"
\"Nothing. Its nearly midnight.\"

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Wife: can you pick the kids up in an hour?
Me: yeah easy
Wife: stop flexing I mean from school

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If you haven't heard two people in dressing gowns argue about who's more tired are you even at school pick up?

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Nap time. When I write a lot, I reward myself with naps. Try it. (Set an alarm so you pick up your dependents from school on time.)

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I dont know why theres mercury in gatorade or how that has any impact on my life but a mom at the school pick up line said I could blame all my problems on it and honestly Ive never been more relieved.

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Took my husbands car to pick up the kids from school today.

He never picks them up.

Let's see how long it takes them to figure out it's me *evil laugh*

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Arrive early to pick your son up from school like the present father you are. Then he will do this to you. pic.twitter.com/DRjv2sBMRI

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I was having so much fun drinking coffee and watching TV I almost forgot to pick my kid up from school!

FB reaction: Whoopsie, haha!

Twitter reaction: I know, right?

IG reaction: I already picked up your kid, did their homework & gave them a snack designed to look like Shrek!

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I forgot what I had to do at 2:30 and y'all it turns out it's pick up my three children from school lololololbrb

steph (@eff_yeah_steph) August 31, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"steph","author_url":"https://twitter.com/eff_yeah_steph","cache_age":86400,"description":"I forgot what I had to do at 2:30 and y'all it turns out it's pick up my three children from school lololololbrb steph (@eff_yeah_steph) August 31, 2018\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"steph on 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