Kids often show a creative approach to the English language. From their malapropisms to their creative descriptors for everyday objects, childrens turns of phrase are adorable, comical and arguably at times superior to the dictionary-official terms.
Fortunately, parents often tweet about the names their kids come up with for different things, so we can all enjoy the originality. Weve rounded up 45 funny tweets about what kids call things.
My oldest just called the Big Dipper the Giant Scooper and I'm never correcting him.
A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 28, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"A Bearer Of Dad News ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/HomeWithPeanut","cache_age":86400,"description":"My oldest just called the Big Dipper the Giant Scooper and I'm never correcting him. 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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My oldest just called the Big Dipper the Giant Scooper and I'm never correcting him.
A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 28, 2020
4 has been carrying a small notebook around all day. She opens it, writes small scribbles and quickly closes it back up.
Shes calling it her secret diarrhea and maybe someday day Ill correct her, but definitely not today.
4 has been carrying a small notebook around all day. She opens it, writes small scribbles and quickly closes it back up.
MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) December 30, 2019
Shes calling it her secret diarrhea and maybe someday day Ill correct her, but definitely not today.
My three-year-old son just asked me, Can you take me to the Vampire State Building?
Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) July 16, 2014","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jim Gaffigan","author_url":"https://twitter.com/JimGaffigan","cache_age":86400,"description":"My three-year-old son just asked me, Can you take me to the Vampire State Building? 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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My three-year-old son just asked me, Can you take me to the Vampire State Building?
Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) July 16, 2014
Advertisement
my four year old daughter is calling geese honkeys and I should probably correct her but I wont
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 27, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"That Mom Tho","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mom_tho","cache_age":86400,"description":"my four year old daughter is calling geese honkeys and I should probably correct her but I wont That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 27, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"That Mom Tho on 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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">my four year old daughter is calling geese honkeys and I should probably correct her but I wont
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 27, 2020
My toddler calls gingerbread houses garlic bread houses and its super cute, and also garlic bread houses should definitely be a thing.
Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) November 15, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Unfiltered Mama","author_url":"https://twitter.com/UnfilteredMama","cache_age":86400,"description":"My toddler calls gingerbread houses garlic bread houses and its super cute, and also garlic bread houses should definitely be a thing. 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Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) November 15, 2020
Advertisement
My 5-year-old calls green Jolly Ranchers \"lightsaber flavor.\"
At least she's on the Light Side.
My 5-year-old calls green Jolly Ranchers "lightsaber flavor."
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 18, 2017
At least she's on the Light Side.
My son called his shoe laces, tyers. he said youre stepping on my tyers lmaooo. I mean they do get tied
Papolo (@PaperChaser_P) November 20, 2019","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Papolo","author_url":"https://twitter.com/PaperChaser_P","cache_age":86400,"description":"My son called his shoe laces, tyers. he said youre stepping on my tyers lmaooo. 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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My son called his shoe laces, tyers. he said youre stepping on my tyers lmaooo. I mean they do get tied
Papolo (@PaperChaser_P) November 20, 2019
Advertisement
*5-year-old steals a sip of Lacroix*
Ugh. I dont know if I like this carba-naked water, mom.
*5-year-old steals a sip of Lacroix*
Kiss my Fat Ash (@Tobi_Is_Fab) February 16, 2021
Ugh. I dont know if I like this carba-naked water, mom.
Last night my 4yo said a prayer for all the people in the world including \"Africa, Asia and Syrup.\" From now on, I will be referring to Europe only as Syrup.
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mark (@TheCatWhisprer) April 1, 2020
My 3 year old likes eating ginger biscuits but calls them ninja biscuits and if Im honest they taste a lot better
ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) August 27, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"ThreeTimeDaddy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/threetimedaddy","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 3 year old likes eating ginger biscuits but calls them ninja biscuits and if Im honest they taste a lot better ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) August 27, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"ThreeTimeDaddy on 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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My 3 year old likes eating ginger biscuits but calls them ninja biscuits and if Im honest they taste a lot better
ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) August 27, 2020
Love that my daughter calls her @Crocs \"Dinos\". I refuse to correct her.
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Brandi Riley | Peace, Love, Rest (@BrandiJeter) April 21, 2014
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I can hear two children playing Marco Polo out in our buildings courtyard except they keep saying Marco Polio
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Anne Thriault (@anne_theriault) December 6, 2020
My friends 3 year old daughter asked her mom when she will stop watching the map show
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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My friends 3 year old daughter asked her mom when she will stop watching the map show
Laura Webb (@lalawebb) November 5, 2020
My 3yo just asked for Santa Milk, I had no idea what she meant, so I had her show me...
she meant egg nog.
Shes a genius!
My 3yo just asked for Santa Milk, I had no idea what she meant, so I had her show me...
Heather #BLM (@dishs_up) October 28, 2020
she meant egg nog.
Shes a genius!
Whenever I put my tough, manly Batman costume on, my 1-year-old calls me Bat Maam.
Im not sure how to feel about that.
Whenever I put my tough, manly Batman costume on, my 1-year-old calls me Bat Maam.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2017
Im not sure how to feel about that.
Advertisement
The four-year-old calls M&Ms \"Any Ms\"
damned sinker (@dansinker) January 4, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":" damned sinker ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/dansinker","cache_age":86400,"description":"The four-year-old calls M&Ms \"Any Ms\" damned sinker (@dansinker) January 4, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":" damned sinker on 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damned sinker (@dansinker) January 4, 2020
My son referred to a Cabbage Patch Kid as a Watermelon Patch Kid, which is probably what kids called the knock-off my aunt made me in '85.
Amy Dillon (@amydillon) December 6, 2016","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Amy Dillon","author_url":"https://twitter.com/amydillon","cache_age":86400,"description":"My son referred to a Cabbage Patch Kid as a Watermelon Patch Kid, which is probably what kids called the knock-off my aunt made me in '85. 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My 5yo calls hand sanitizer hanitizer and all Im saying is that we should give kids everywhere a chance to name things.
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Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) November 13, 2020
My son referred to my nipples as \"pickles\" this morning, which is fine. He LOVES pickles, so I'm just glad he didn't bite them.
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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My son referred to my nipples as "pickles" this morning, which is fine. He LOVES pickles, so I'm just glad he didn't bite them.
Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) April 26, 2013
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My sons says cuddle up instead of huddle up and I would be way more into sports if they did this.
Wendy Litner (@wendy_litner) February 22, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Wendy Litner","author_url":"https://twitter.com/wendy_litner","cache_age":86400,"description":"My sons says cuddle up instead of huddle up and I would be way more into sports if they did this. 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Wendy Litner (@wendy_litner) February 22, 2021
My son referred to some ladys cleavage as her crack in the front & I just can never unhear this now.
Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 12, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Sarcastic Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sarcasticmommy4","cache_age":86400,"description":"My son referred to some ladys cleavage as her crack in the front & I just can never unhear this now. 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Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 12, 2018
Kiddo mispronounced the Beatles name as John Lemonade, and damn was it refreshing.
Join the Cult of Amy. We have cookies. #BLM (@Froschauer_AF) February 16, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Join the Cult of Amy. We have cookies. #BLM","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Froschauer_AF","cache_age":86400,"description":"Kiddo mispronounced the Beatles name as John Lemonade, and damn was it refreshing. Join the Cult of Amy. We have cookies. #BLM (@Froschauer_AF) February 16, 2021\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Join the Cult of Amy. 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Join the Cult of Amy. We have cookies. #BLM (@Froschauer_AF) February 16, 2021
8: mommy I want to study pastrami
Me: why pastrami specifically?
8: Im just super interested in the stars
Me: astronomy you mean astronomy
8: pretty sure its pastrami
8: mommy I want to study pastrami
Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 28, 2020
Me: why pastrami specifically?
8: Im just super interested in the stars
Me: astronomy you mean astronomy
8: pretty sure its pastrami
Advertisement
I find it magical that my daughter refers to the dust in her room as beautiful fluff.
Magical & an excuse to not sweep for another day.
I find it magical that my daughter refers to the dust in her room as beautiful fluff.
Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) May 21, 2015
Magical & an excuse to not sweep for another day.
Just discovered my strangely puritanical 12yo daughter refers to shuttlecocks as shuttle chickens
Karen Cole (@karlou) April 25, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Karen Cole","author_url":"https://twitter.com/karlou","cache_age":86400,"description":"Just discovered my strangely puritanical 12yo daughter refers to shuttlecocks as shuttle chickens Karen Cole (@karlou) April 25, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Karen Cole on 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Karen Cole (@karlou) April 25, 2020
My son refers to the endzone as the \"touchdown box\" - I feel like we should all call it that from now on. #nfl
Kelly Phillips Erb (@taxgirl) October 26, 2014","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Kelly Phillips Erb","author_url":"https://twitter.com/taxgirl","cache_age":86400,"description":"My son refers to the endzone as the \"touchdown box\" - I feel like we should all call it that from now on. #nfl Kelly Phillips Erb (@taxgirl) October 26, 2014\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Kelly Phillips Erb on 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Kelly Phillips Erb (@taxgirl) October 26, 2014
My 9 year old son calls a pain au chocolate a chocolate sausage roll & I don't think I've ever heard anything so perfect
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joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 20, 2020
Advertisement
My 5 year old called a disco ball a beat ball and Im declaring that we all call it that from now on.
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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My 5 year old called a disco ball a beat ball and Im declaring that we all call it that from now on.
Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) December 12, 2019
My kid just called romaine lettuce gross kale so the next batch of humans is coming along nicely, thanks for asking.
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Life at Tiffanys (@lifeattiffanys) August 24, 2019
My 4-year-old calls our microwave \"the pizza heater,\" and there's nothing to correct because she's right.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2019","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn","author_url":"https://twitter.com/XplodingUnicorn","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 4-year-old calls our microwave \"the pizza heater,\" and there's nothing to correct because she's right. 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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2019
As if I couldn't love her more, I've discovered my daughter refers to hay as animal grass.
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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">As if I couldn't love her more, I've discovered my daughter refers to hay as animal grass.
Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) October 24, 2012
Advertisement
[in store]
4yo: daddy look it's the bitch!
Me: the what!?
4yo: bitch. [Points to the Grinch blowup]
Me: ohhh u mean the GRINch.
4yo: yea the bitch
Me: no dude..it's the GRRR-IN-CH
4yo: the bitch.
Me: ok.
[in store]
Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) September 20, 2019
4yo: daddy look it's the bitch!
Me: the what!?
4yo: bitch. [Points to the Grinch blowup]
Me: ohhh u mean the GRINch.
4yo: yea the bitch
Me: no dude..it's the GRRR-IN-CH
4yo: the bitch.
Me: ok.
My daughter calls exercise \"exercide\" and actually, I'm feeling it.
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Christina Evans (@cakevans) March 6, 2020
My daughter has been with me all day in my cubicle or, as she calls it, \"Fartsville.\"
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Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 5, 2017
I discovered that my 5yo daughter calls yellow highlighters \"butter\". I'm sorry if you just died of cuteness.
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I'm sorry if you just died of cuteness.
Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) October 23, 2012
Advertisement
3: Dick mint! Dick mint!
My mom: um...what?!?
3: DICK MINT!
Me: *sigh* I taught her the word predicament. Im so sorry.
3: Dick mint! Dick mint!
Marissa (@michimama75) December 17, 2019
My mom: um...what?!?
3: DICK MINT!
Me: *sigh* I taught her the word predicament. Im so sorry.
my son calls a twist ice cream cone striped ice cream and anyone who corrects him will get my whole foot in their ass
Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 18, 2019","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Valerie","author_url":"https://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl","cache_age":86400,"description":"my son calls a twist ice cream cone striped ice cream and anyone who corrects him will get my whole foot in their ass Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 18, 2019\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Valerie on 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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">my son calls a twist ice cream cone striped ice cream and anyone who corrects him will get my whole foot in their ass
Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 18, 2019
2.5yo to our neighbor: \"I have a lot of itchy nipples.\"
Me to neighbor: \"Mosquito bites. He means mosquito bites.\"
2.5yo to our neighbor: "I have a lot of itchy nipples."
Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) August 11, 2020
Me to neighbor: "Mosquito bites. He means mosquito bites."
My son kept asking me if Ive ever had cooked menoodles and I couldnt figure out for the life of me what he was talking about. Finally realized he thought ramen noodles were RAW menoodles.
Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) November 25, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Emily McCombs","author_url":"https://twitter.com/msemilymccombs","cache_age":86400,"description":"My son kept asking me if Ive ever had cooked menoodles and I couldnt figure out for the life of me what he was talking about. Finally realized he thought ramen noodles were RAW menoodles. 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Finally realized he thought ramen noodles were RAW menoodles.
Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) November 25, 2020
Advertisement
My Three Year Old says \"peener\" instead of peanut butter and I'm going to need this to be a thing forever spread the word.
My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) January 21, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"My Life Is The Pitts Family","author_url":"https://twitter.com/LifePitts","cache_age":86400,"description":"My Three Year Old says \"peener\" instead of peanut butter and I'm going to need this to be a thing forever spread the word. 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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My Three Year Old says "peener" instead of peanut butter and I'm going to need this to be a thing forever spread the word.
My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) January 21, 2021
It's funny that my daughter calls bedtime \"nap time\". Lol ok if you wanna call it that
Sunny (@FUCKHERFOLLOWME) July 11, 2013","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Sunny","author_url":"https://twitter.com/FUCKHERFOLLOWME","cache_age":86400,"description":"It's funny that my daughter calls bedtime \"nap time\". 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Lol ok if you wanna call it that
Sunny (@FUCKHERFOLLOWME) July 11, 2013
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My daughter says GOBBLE instead of GOOGLE and I'm not correcting that yet in case you wanted to feel like a better parent
Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) April 17, 2013","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Claire Smith","author_url":"https://twitter.com/MinistryOfMum","cache_age":86400,"description":"My daughter says GOBBLE instead of GOOGLE and I'm not correcting that yet in case you wanted to feel like a better parent Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) April 17, 2013\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Claire Smith on 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Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) April 17, 2013
My kid calls soy milk \"soil milk\". So cute.
Elita (@ElitatheLibra) September 3, 2012","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Elita","author_url":"https://twitter.com/ElitatheLibra","cache_age":86400,"description":"My kid calls soy milk \"soil milk\". So cute. 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So cute.
Elita (@ElitatheLibra) September 3, 2012
Advertisement
My 6 year old calls weekends, week pauses, and hes not wrong
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Adam Elmore (@aeduhm) March 8, 2021
One twin calls the trampoline a jumpoline and the other one thinks ham sandwiches are called hamwiches, and this is why kids should be in charge of naming things
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English language","slug":"english-language","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/english-language","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"},"url":"https://action.news/topic/english-language"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">One twin calls the trampoline a jumpoline and the other one thinks ham sandwiches are called hamwiches, and this is why kids should be in charge of naming things
MacgyveringMom22 (@MacgyveringM22) January 24, 2020
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