A fun thing about having teens is how they text you from school to tell you they don't like their lunch.

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According to my teenage sons the appropriate number of squirts of Axe Body Spray is somewhere between 38 and 579.

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Teen tried to make a dramatic exit by slamming my door, but there was a towel on the knob. No slam, & no dignity for her as I died laughing.

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Don't give up hope, parents of uncommunicative teens. Today my newly-chatty son said \"nah\" only three hours after I asked him a question.

Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) October 16, 2016","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Housewife of Hell","author_url":"https://twitter.com/HousewifeOfHell","cache_age":86400,"description":"Don't give up hope, parents of uncommunicative teens. Today my newly-chatty son said \"nah\" only three hours after I asked him a question. 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Son turned 13 yesterday.

This morning my husband asked how it felt to be a teenager.

Without missing a beat he said, \"Shut up, Dad.\"

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[Me before teens]
*super irritated that people always say, Oh you think its bad now just wait til theyre teens...*

[Me after teens]
GOD HELP US THEY WERE RIGHT

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At the airport.
Just kissed 13yo son on his forehead.

He reacted like Dracula getting impaled by a wooden stake.

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Just changed the Netflix password so my teenager has to come out of his room to talk to me.

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A nice thing my teenage son does to help around the house is tell us when we're out of the junk food he likes.

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Babies&small children need attention 24/7. Then they become teens& hide in their rooms, avoiding you as much as possible, to make up for it.

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The thing I like about having teens is how they make a bunch of plans because they're \"independent\" & then ask to borrow money.

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Nothing makes me more nervous than a text from my teenage son that says, \"How soon will you and mom be home?\"

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Just watched one of my teens struggle for 10 minutes to use a can opener on a can of soup with a pull tab.

The good news: She did get the can open, & thats likely one less college tuition for us.

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95% of my teenager's room could be a laundry basket and he'd manage to throw his clothes in the 5% that wasn't.

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Roll those eyes all you want, teenage daughter. You'll still be changing my diapers in 20 years.#teens

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Rhett Butler in that Gone with the Wind scene except it's me to my teenager who said \"All my friends are going to Cancun for Spring Break.\"

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My 15yo son told me he wants to see \"Get Out\" but since it's R-rated, he'll sneak in. Real gangstas tell their mommy their plan in advance.

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Having a 15 year old son has really turned me into a boring asshole, apparently

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When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
Nora Ephron

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The only real reason I want my teens to have phones is so I can blow them up in the morning when they arent getting out of bed.

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My teens cleaned their rooms & according to my sink & countertops, they've been hoarding my whole kitchen.

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86% of parenting teens is waiting in the car outside some practice or sporting event.

Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) November 15, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Momma of Midgard","author_url":"https://twitter.com/MidgardMomma","cache_age":86400,"description":"86% of parenting teens is waiting in the car outside some practice or sporting event. 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I leave love-notes for my kids to find after school, like \"Pick up your shit or I'll give it to teens who don't have crap to strew about.\"

Just Linda (@LindaInDisguise) January 25, 2017","type":"rich","meta":{"author":" Just Linda ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/LindaInDisguise","cache_age":86400,"description":"I leave love-notes for my kids to find after school, like \"Pick up your shit or I'll give it to teens who don't have crap to strew about.\" Just Linda (@LindaInDisguise) January 25, 2017\n\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":" Just Linda on 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Just texted my teenager to remind me what Parental Control password I'd set & that she'd figured out, so I could get into my own Netflix.

Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) May 21, 2016","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Ana Gasteyer","author_url":"https://twitter.com/AnaGasteyer","cache_age":86400,"description":"Just texted my teenager to remind me what Parental Control password I'd set & that she'd figured out, so I could get into my own Netflix. 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As my friend confessed, \"My teenage daughter never even talks to me,\" I struggled to conceal my jealousy.

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The great thing about having teens who sleep until noon is I only have to feed them 2 meals a day.

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Found a chewed apple core in our shower #teens

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Just earned the Mom Badge of Courage for taking 16yo driving.

The glovebox on the pax side should include a minibar for times like these.

Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) February 20, 2016","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Domestic Goddess","author_url":"https://twitter.com/DomesticGoddss","cache_age":86400,"description":"Just earned the Mom Badge of Courage for taking 16yo driving.The glovebox on the pax side should include a minibar for times like these. Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) February 20, 2016\n\n","provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Domestic Goddess on 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My teens are all Billy Bad Asses... Until the power goes out.

Then they're shrieking 5 yr olds running through the house like it's on fire.

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Son, when I was a teenager, we didn't have to spend $2,000 on a sky-writer to ask a girl to prom.

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Mother Nature really struts her stuff when she gives moms hot flashes at the same time teens start refusing to wear long pants and coats.

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Me [before kids]: Im going to be the coolest parent.

Me [now]: *dabbing*

Teen son: I literally hate you.

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If you doubt my dedication to a higher power, you should see how many prayers I can recite while riding passenger to my teen driver.

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Shopping with my teen daughter. If you need me, I'll be sitting right outside this dressing room, losing the will to live.

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Spend quality time with your kids. Force them hold your hand and skip with you. Do this with your teens. Do it at the mall.

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Parenting tip: Asking your 16yo daughter why she listens to such stupid music is NOT the best conversation starter.

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Why is it whenever I try to talk to my teenager he's staring at his phone but when I call him he doesn't answer...? Do I need to text? Help

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Parenting tip: Learn to breakdance so when you meet your teenager's new friends, you have a cool talent to show them.

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I shut my teen's bedroom door to make my house feel cleaner.

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