War With North Korea Is Part Of Donald Trumps Post-Apocalyptic Real Estate Construction Plan

White House officials just revealed that President Donald Trump ’s heated rhetoric against North Korea is part of a bold and innovative improvised plan to start a nuclear war and then rebuild the earth utilizing Trump worldwide real estate construction. “After the radiation subsides, the earth will need patching up and members of the Trump family and its vast real estate organization will emerge from their protected lead-lined bunkers to make sure it happens,” said Fallout Facilitator Dr. Harold T. Throckminion. “The potential for infrastructure improvement and job creation will be limitless and, to use an old chestnut, we’ll be putting the ‘new’ back into ‘nuclear.’”

The initial plans will involve creating a series of exclusive high-rise condominiums, casinos, and impregnable fortresses which will be built by a vast zombie and mutant work force. Doomsday Strategist Steve Bannon is already working on post-apocalypse legislation which will drastically reduce the number of legal zombie and mutant immigrants seeking to enter what remains of the United States. Said Throckminion, “We cannot allow hard-working American zombies and mutants to be displaced by low-skilled immigrant zombies and mutants who will depress wages based on our new currency system of cigarettes, water, antibiotics, and gender-neutral prostitutes.”

According to a Rasmussen poll, 96 percent of hardcore Trump supporters are in favor of nuclear war, although some worry about the prospect of a race of apes evolving from humans. Said Lois Gillajup of Mount Airy, North Carolina, “As long as it’s apes evolving from humans and not the other way around, I guess it’s okay.”