You Are Amazing, And Other Communication Hacks

A client of mine just called to tell me Im amazing. I like when that happens. In fact, I like it so much that Ill try twice as hard to make him happy next time.

Of course, I have clients who are unhappy too. I write copy for a lot of different people and businesses and I dont always nail the exact style a client is looking for. Sometimes there are communication issues too. Clients say they want ABC, but forget they also want DEF. How they give feedback on my writing determines how happy I am to try to live up to their new requirements. If they tell me my copy was awful Im unlikely to feel inspired trying to change it. If they tell me they appreciate my efforts, but are looking for something different and would be really happy if I can edit it, I naturally try to match their niceness by doing a good job.

Thats not to say I dont do a good job with people who are terrible at communicating nicely - its my job to deliver the copy whether theyre nice or not - my point is merely that instinctively we respond differently depending on how someone communicates with us. If we get angry we first have to stop being angry before we tackle the task at hand and as some people dont know how to take responsibility for their anger they start a fight if they feel offended.

In Blink Malcolm Gladwell talks about doctors who get sued for making mistakes and conclude that whilst most doctors are human and will make mistakes in their career, people normally only sue them if they dislike them. If you establish rapport with people, they respond differently to you.

If you want different results in life, you might want to change how you communicate. From how you flirt, to how you deal with your employees. People often think they dont need to learn communication skills, almost as if learning how to talk to people would mean theyre faking their personality. Its not about their personality. Its about learning to express oneself in ways people respond to favorably. If you want people to actually see your heart, you need to learn to communicate it. If you want them to hear what youre saying, you need to say it in a way where they understand you. If you accidentally make them upset, they arent really going to pay any attention to what youre saying.

In a similar manner, you need to learn that how you perceive something isnt necessarily how it was intended to be perceived. Some people arent great at communicating, nor do they have a desire to learn to communicate better. That doesnt mean they dislike you. Whats more, even if they did dislike you, its not going to help you to mope about it. You have to take responsibility for your reactions. As I always tell the kids I raise: if someone tells you that youre purple, you arent going to be offended as youll think them stupid. So if someone tells you that youre ugly you dont have to be offended either, because you know it isnt true.

If, on the other hand, you being purple is a valid comment, then you have to learn to take it on. But taking on criticism doesnt make you bad. Its just an opportunity to learn. Your value as a human being hasnt changed.

Of course, if you get negative feedback and really dont want to take something on you can just write an angry tweet about it. Because tweeting solves everything. Its true. Its fantastic.

If youre thinking about tweeting about someone, I think you should consider going for You are amazing! kind of tweets though...much more effective, wouldnt you say?