A First-Timers Guide To Play Dates

Do the words "play” and “date" make you cringe?

Too bad.

If you have a child (and you ever want to leave your house again), you'll need to add this word to your lexicon—and this event to your calendar.

You may think you know what happens at a play date, but don’t be fooled: play dates have their own set of etiquette and expectations.

5 things you need to know before your first play date:

It’s Not Really For The Kids

Sure, you set up the play date so you little darlings can “make friends”, but let's be honest: until kids are three or four, they don't really play with each other. They play beside one another, at best.

Little Johnny will pass a toy little Charlie and you'll think, "Oh look, they're sharing!" And snap photos for Instagram (#sharing #socute #BFFs). But really, Johnny just wanted Charlie to take the toy so he could pick his nose.

Play dates are not for kids. They’re for adults. Play dates exist so parents can get together and hang out. That's the simple, honest truth.

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You Won’t Be Able To Finish A Sentence

Now that we've exposed the real reason for this play date, let's talk about the conversations you're going to have with your friend: please lower your expectations.

These conversations will not be like your pre-child conversations. Sure, you might still discuss politics, world-issues or celebrity gossip, but it will take two hours to finish one sentence.

Someone's child will cry. Someone else’s child will need to be fed. Then both kids will cry. Then one will nap. Then one will break something.

You'll forget where you were in conversation at least 100 times and repeat yourself more than you ever have before. This is all very normal. This is called "trying to talk while kids are in the room."

There Needs To Be Food

Photography by Dmitriy Shironosov © 123RF.com

Wherever you are gathering, make sure there is food. Parents are hungry, ravenous beasts. Oh—and kids are too. But please: the food does not need to be an exquisite work of art. It just needs to be edible.

Offer to bring something if you're the guest and always have super-easy, kid-friendly snacks on hand if you're the host (anything you can throw at the kids to keep them quiet a little longer while you try to finish that damn sentence one more time...).

Don’t Compare

Someone's kid will do complex math equations while another person's kid struggles to count to three.

Someone's kid will pick their university major while someone else's kid picks their nose.

Do. Not. Compare.

Your Home Should Be Messy

Photography by Scott Griessel © 123RF.com

This may go against your instincts (and everything your parents taught you as a kid). Someone is coming over to your house, so you should scrub every surface, right? Please don't.

Like Photoshopping super models, this kind of behaviour sets unrealistic expectations. Sure, wipe your toddler's pee off the toilet seat for basic hygienic reasons—but remember, your friend has kids too. His or her house is probably a mirror image of yours.

And if it's not? It was before you came over! Your friend just cleaned like a maniac because he felt like he had to! Stop the madness, people!

There you have it. You are now fully equipped to embark on your first play date, with all the knowledge of all the more-experienced parents who came before you. Run free, new parent—enjoy the simple snacks, the toys on the floor and the chance to spend time with other adults.