Were here to guide you through the coronavirus lockdown. Check out HuffPost LIFE for daily tips, advice, how-tos and escapism.
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week we round up the most hilarious quips via Twitter from mums and dads to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
40% of parenting small children is just saying wow and cool when you dont mean it.
Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) May 24, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Molly McNearney","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mollymcnearney","cache_age":86400,"description":"40% of parenting small children is just saying wow and cool when you dont mean it. 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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">40% of parenting small children is just saying wow and cool when you dont mean it.
Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) May 24, 2020
I want the confidence of a toddler who picked out her own outfit.
Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 27, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jessie","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mommajessiec","cache_age":86400,"description":"I want the confidence of a toddler who picked out her own outfit. 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Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 27, 2020
You feel like youre an okay parent winging it as best as possible and then you ask your almost 4yo what her favorite number is and she says A.
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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">You feel like youre an okay parent winging it as best as possible and then you ask your almost 4yo what her favorite number is and she says A.
Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) May 25, 2020
So my 3 year old was drifting off to sleep last night when she suddenly popped up and said to me:
We are now on a different planet
Then she immediately fell asleep.
Sooooooo... yeah.
So my 3 year old was drifting off to sleep last night when she suddenly popped up and said to me:
Audra McDonald (@AudraEqualityMc) May 25, 2020
We are now on a different planet
Then she immediately fell asleep.
Sooooooo... yeah.
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8-year-old: Are we having pizza tonight?
Me: No.
8: Can you check again?
8-year-old: Are we having pizza tonight?
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2020
Me: No.
8: Can you check again?
If youre not power napping on the toilet are you even a parent?
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 25, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"That Mom Tho","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mom_tho","cache_age":86400,"description":"If youre not power napping on the toilet are you even a parent? 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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">If youre not power napping on the toilet are you even a parent?
That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 25, 2020
I wish someone had told me this parenting law:
The more excited I am about an activity with my kids, the less they will care about it.
I wish someone had told me this parenting law:
Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) May 26, 2020
The more excited I am about an activity with my kids, the less they will care about it.
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My 6 yr old just got mad at me and told me to mute myself
Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) May 28, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Molly Erdman","author_url":"https://twitter.com/erdmanmolly","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 6 yr old just got mad at me and told me to mute myself Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) May 28, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Molly Erdman on 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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My 6 yr old just got mad at me and told me to mute myself
Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) May 28, 2020
My 3-year-old calls corn on the cob porn on the cop and I will never correct him.
Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) May 25, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Dude-Bro Dad","author_url":"https://twitter.com/thedadvocate01","cache_age":86400,"description":"My 3-year-old calls corn on the cob porn on the cop and I will never correct him. 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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">My 3-year-old calls corn on the cob porn on the cop and I will never correct him.
Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) May 25, 2020
Can you help me with this?
- every kid, nearly every minute of the lockdown
Can you help me with this?
mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 25, 2020
- every kid, nearly every minute of the lockdown
My kids were crushed when I told them our Disney trip was canceled.
Partly because thats the first they even heard of any Disney trip since we'd never planned one, but at least now they'll think we did.
My kids were crushed when I told them our Disney trip was canceled.
The Dad (@thedad) May 25, 2020
Partly because thats the first they even heard of any Disney trip since we'd never planned one, but at least now they'll think we did.
Advertisement
If you don't have one child you can trust to spy and tattle on their siblings, you're doing it wrong.
Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) May 25, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Divergent Mama","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Divergentmama","cache_age":86400,"description":"If you don't have one child you can trust to spy and tattle on their siblings, you're doing it wrong. Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) May 25, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Divergent Mama on 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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">If you don't have one child you can trust to spy and tattle on their siblings, you're doing it wrong.
Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) May 25, 2020
(5 year old on his iPad reading app)
Me: whatcha doing?
5 year old: looking up ways you can get stronger.
Me: Why?
5 year old: so you can play The Rock in my movie.
Me: I cant do that as I am?
5 year old: ...
(5 year old on his iPad reading app)
Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) May 27, 2020
Me: whatcha doing?
5 year old: looking up ways you can get stronger.
Me: Why?
5 year old: so you can play The Rock in my movie.
Me: I cant do that as I am?
5 year old: ...
If my kids wind up growing into sociopaths and they question me for a Netflix special, I plan on answering all interview questions with whoopsie doodle.
Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) May 27, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Arianna Bradford","author_url":"https://twitter.com/TheNYAMProject","cache_age":86400,"description":"If my kids wind up growing into sociopaths and they question me for a Netflix special, I plan on answering all interview questions with whoopsie doodle. Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) May 27, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Arianna Bradford on 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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">If my kids wind up growing into sociopaths and they question me for a Netflix special, I plan on answering all interview questions with whoopsie doodle.
Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) May 27, 2020
My daughters principal made a surprise visit to every 5th graders house to hand out class of 2020 bags, t-shirts, and beach towels.
Let me tell you, you havent lived until youve stood in your doorway braless in pajamas chatting with your kids principal.
My daughters principal made a surprise visit to every 5th graders house to hand out class of 2020 bags, t-shirts, and beach towels.
SpacedMom (@copymama) May 28, 2020
Let me tell you, you havent lived until youve stood in your doorway braless in pajamas chatting with your kids principal.
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I gave the kids a big amazon box to play with and they all climbed inside and seemed happy so I taped up the box and returned it to amazon Im sure theyre fine
MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 25, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"MumInBits","author_url":"https://twitter.com/MumInBits","cache_age":86400,"description":"I gave the kids a big amazon box to play with and they all climbed inside and seemed happy so I taped up the box and returned it to amazon Im sure theyre fine MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 25, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"MumInBits on 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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">I gave the kids a big amazon box to play with and they all climbed inside and seemed happy so I taped up the box and returned it to amazon Im sure theyre fine
MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 25, 2020
Dont ever tell a child youre going to do something with them before youre ready to start the activity. They will be on you like white on rice. pic.twitter.com/278Wr75ifO
Rideshare to FREEDOM (@Steph_I_Will) May 21, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Rideshare to FREEDOM ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Steph_I_Will","cache_age":86400,"description":"Dont ever tell a child youre going to do something with them before youre ready to start the activity. 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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Dont ever tell a child youre going to do something with them before youre ready to start the activity. They will be on you like white on rice. pic.twitter.com/278Wr75ifO
Rideshare to FREEDOM (@Steph_I_Will) May 21, 2020
My kids always ask for things like, \"Can I have four cookies because I'm four?\"
By that logic, can I have 30 million dollars because I'm thirty?
My kids always ask for things like, "Can I have four cookies because I'm four?"
Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) May 25, 2020
By that logic, can I have 30 million dollars because I'm thirty?
Renamed my oldest kid Netflix because he's always asking, \"Are you still watching?\" even when he's showing me shit I've already seen.
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as a parent","slug":"life-as-a-parent","links":{"relativeLink":"news/life-as-a-parent","permalink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent","mobileWebLink":"https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/news/life-as-a-parent"},"url":"https://action.news/archive/au/topic/life-as-a-parent"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Renamed my oldest kid Netflix because he's always asking, "Are you still watching?" even when he's showing me shit I've already seen.
A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) May 27, 2020
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