I'm just a girl, standing in front of a self-checkout, screaming that there's no unexpected item in the bagging area.

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Im going to take a break from social media for my mental health. I will see you all in 2 minutes.

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Currently staying with my parents. They have eggs for breakfast on Wednesday and Sunday. These days are now both known as Egg Day. They plan for Egg Day days in advance. The night before an Egg Day they talk about how excited they are for Egg Day. Theyve been married 35 years.

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pitch: a dating app that lets me know which people in my life are already in love with me

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I blush when I think about all of us back in March. The crafts! The bread! Tiger King! Sending each other cutie pie Marco Polos! Its like thinking about yourself in seventh grade

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me (reading philosophy): what

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I miss bars. I miss ordering a nice drink and having multiple people ask me if Im a model. Then more people ask me if Im a model. Everyone at the bar would start yelling are you a model?!until Id have to stand on the bar and make a formal announcement that I am NOT a model

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I never truly understood the phrase ready to risk it all, until mere moments ago when a fine af, shirtless, Black man made eye contact with me from his vintage convertible. It was... all ready to be risked.

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there should be a single-serving website called What's Their Deal where you can type in anyone's name and it tells you their deal

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im seeing my girlfriend in a few days for the first time since Febuary but she might not recognize me (i lost 4 lbs then gained 2 then lost 1 then gained 6 then lost 3 so i am currently exact same weight)

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Good morning to everyone who woke up and immediately moved half of the items they had on today's to-do list to tomorrow's to-do list.

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the oscar for outstanding performance this yr goes to the people who posted black boxes on instagram and never said a word again

miski (@musegold) July 20, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"miski","author_url":"https://twitter.com/musegold","cache_age":86400,"description":"the oscar for outstanding performance this yr goes to the people who posted black boxes on instagram and never said a word again miski (@musegold) July 20, 2020\n\n","options":{"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"miski on 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You ever meet a guy who thinks that a joke from a major blockbuster comedy is an inside joke with him and his friends

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Something to think about pic.twitter.com/WKw6JNChXM

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i want to watch a ~thriller~ someone tell me what to watch so that i am ~thrilled~

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wtf is a 401k I can barely run 2 miles :(

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\"hahaha, whatever\" - me, seconds after telling someone an important emotional truth i hold incredibly dear

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Really showed my aunt colours when my best friend's two-year-old threw a tantrum today and I responded with a commanding, \"Hey. Be cool.\"

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Gen Z will never understand what it was like growing up in a society where if your pizza was late you got it for free.

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writers be like this character will be...a writer

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