airbnb hosts be like

when you arrive at the house walk up the first set of outside stairs, leading to the secret door. open the door. inside will be my roomate with a riddle, once solved he will give you the key. there are 7 possible doors the key may open, its is up to you t

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thoughts and prayers to the last occupant of our airbnb who clearly thought this coaster was a digestive pic.twitter.com/B7nUgNKHvy

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Finished the (1) roll of toilet paper in my airbnb and asked the host where I could find extra and he said the supermarket pic.twitter.com/RH9a17nj1s

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Airbnb: $200 cleaning fee
Also Airbnb:

(@Buncahn) April 25, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":" ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Buncahn","cache_age":86400,"description":"Airbnb: $200 cleaning feeAlso Airbnb: (@Buncahn) April 25, 2022\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":" on Twitter / 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The owner of my AirBnB has a dog named Kevin. His human-sounding name terrified me at first. pic.twitter.com/8CrUV1hMOp

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Airbnb be like 3 bedroom, 11 beds

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A cooking show where they have to prepare a meal in a vacation rental using the pots, pans, and knives from Walgreens.

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Arrived at an Airbnb and this is above my bed. Cant wait for an evil witch to eat me in my sleep. pic.twitter.com/zndQZ5kXLP

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airbnb host in :
the key is in a lockbox, wifi password is on the fridge, please don't contact me, have a nice trip!!

airbnb host in :
*knocks on bed frame* yes, sturdy bed, look. you will conceive your children in my home.

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I need to take a beta blocker every single time I look at this picture of the kitchen in a Catskills vacation rental pic.twitter.com/vF6PlBUKen

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No idea why AirBnBs business is suffering. Anyway last time I stayed at one I forgot to separate garbage and recycling and the owner shot me with a bow and arrow

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still havent fully recovered from what my Airbnb host texted me pic.twitter.com/vMshmLFkhI

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So dehumanising writing a little blurb about yourself to the AirBnb host when u request a booking. Please sir let me pay a weeks wages so I can stay in your lodgings. I am but a humble, boring man, I am quiet as a mouse. I have no fun or disruptive friends. I love landlords

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What the fuck is this cup at this airbnb pic.twitter.com/heGYg2CHfx

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First day at AirBnB pic.twitter.com/lvfWMsgn4n

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Airbnb will tell you its 150 a night and you when you go to checkout for 2 nights its $1,987

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Everybody say a quick prayer for Tom, my Airbnb host who, upon request to use his toaster, told me with pain in his voice that she took the toaster when she left me

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We are staying in an AirBnB in deepest Wales for the week. I have pressed a button on a remote with no idea what it was for, and it amazingly does this: pic.twitter.com/Gi8Zn523BB

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Looking at vacation rentals I cant afford is my love language.

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im done with airbnb lmao these motherfuckers have curfews, quiet hours, and chore lists now. i will be at a HOTEL.

caleb (@calebsaysthings) June 14, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"caleb","author_url":"https://twitter.com/calebsaysthings","cache_age":86400,"description":"im done with airbnb lmao these motherfuckers have curfews, quiet hours, and chore lists now. i will be at a HOTEL. caleb (@calebsaysthings) June 14, 2022\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"caleb on Twitter / 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An AirBnB accused me of stealing a laptop from her home. Its offensive for a lot of reasons, but mostly because she accused me of stealing a Dell.

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Airbnb host: 4 beds
The beds: one queen, sofa bed, air mattress & a bunkbed

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AirBnB: No partying allowed!
The House: pic.twitter.com/lpm4nl5wsm

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The stages of sharing a vacation rental with another family are:

1. Wish we were more like them
2. At least were not like them

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What do you not want to find in your vacation rental in a very small town pic.twitter.com/WIPxkrJa9W

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One time an AirBnB lady asked me to keep an eye out for her cat & if I saw him, to catch him & bring him back in the house where I presumably was to cat sit him for the rest of my stay. Maam, Im not here for a capture & rescue mission, Im on a business trip.

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My 3-year-old picking up a tiny Spider-Man figurine in the kids room of this Airbnb, his brow furrowed, he turns it over in his hand a few times, examining it. What is it? he whispers to himself. He stares at it for a long time then whispers, his voice shakey: Ilove him.

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Me messaging 5 July to my French Airbnb host instead of July 5th pic.twitter.com/n8cnwPeOmQ

Richard Lawson (@rilaws) July 3, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Richard Lawson","author_url":"https://twitter.com/rilaws","cache_age":86400,"description":"Me messaging 5 July to my French Airbnb host instead of July 5th pic.twitter.com/n8cnwPeOmQ Richard Lawson (@rilaws) July 3, 2021\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Richard Lawson on Twitter / 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I know times are tough, but someone is trying to AirBnb a 2011 Toyota Sienna for $100 USD per night. pic.twitter.com/dKlVV64MAO

THIQUE! BINI BADDIE (@Aizehinomo) August 19, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"THIQUE! BINI BADDIE","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Aizehinomo","cache_age":86400,"description":"I know times are tough, but someone is trying to AirBnb a 2011 Toyota Sienna for $100 USD per night. pic.twitter.com/dKlVV64MAO THIQUE! BINI BADDIE (@Aizehinomo) August 19, 2022\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"THIQUE! 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tfw you arrive at your @airbnb and realize that the whole space is essentially just a large-ish bathroom that the host put a bed into pic.twitter.com/ImlxVWtAXF

David Holtz (@daveholtz) July 10, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"David Holtz","author_url":"https://twitter.com/daveholtz","cache_age":86400,"description":"tfw you arrive at your @airbnb and realize that the whole space is essentially just a large-ish bathroom that the host put a bed into pic.twitter.com/ImlxVWtAXF David Holtz (@daveholtz) July 10, 2023\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"David Holtz on Twitter / 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Do Airbnb hosts just like mentally block out the fact that people have fucked all over their home

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im going to LA tomorrow and my airbnb host is super hot and i am prepared to be seduced or murdered either way i'd be honored

Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) June 3, 2018","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Matt Bellassai","author_url":"https://twitter.com/MattBellassai","cache_age":86400,"description":"im going to LA tomorrow and my airbnb host is super hot and i am prepared to be seduced or murdered either way i'd be honored Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) June 3, 2018\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Matt Bellassai on Twitter / 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My boyfriend really booked an airbnb with BUNK BEDS for our ANNIVERSARY pic.twitter.com/jpeqtv1jHC

1984s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) September 26, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"1984s George Whorewell","author_url":"https://twitter.com/EwdatsGROSS","cache_age":86400,"description":"My boyfriend really booked an airbnb with BUNK BEDS for our ANNIVERSARY pic.twitter.com/jpeqtv1jHC 1984s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) September 26, 2020\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"1984s George Whorewell on Twitter / 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(Texting my Airbnb host) everything has been great, cant wait for you to get home so we can finally hang out

Nathan Hare (@nathanharenice) July 3, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Nathan Hare","author_url":"https://twitter.com/nathanharenice","cache_age":86400,"description":"(Texting my Airbnb host) everything has been great, cant wait for you to get home so we can finally hang out Nathan Hare (@nathanharenice) July 3, 2022\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Nathan Hare on Twitter / 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we left the airbnb and this is what the host just sent, i am literally in tears pic.twitter.com/FtWq9gzh1l

Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) May 2, 2022","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Kristen Arnett","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Kristen_Arnett","cache_age":86400,"description":"we left the airbnb and this is what the host just sent, i am literally in tears pic.twitter.com/FtWq9gzh1l Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) May 2, 2022\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Kristen Arnett on Twitter / 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My boyfriend & I checked into our vacation rental and are convinced we are now in a horror movie.

-the house we rented is on a deserted 90-acre ranch in the desert
-there is no cell reception
-the groundskeeper told us he would lock the driveway gate behind him when he left
/1 pic.twitter.com/GnXBBhnH9q

Jude Atwood (@JudeAtwood) September 27, 2020","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Jude Atwood","author_url":"https://twitter.com/JudeAtwood","cache_age":86400,"description":"My boyfriend & I checked into our vacation rental and are convinced we are now in a horror movie.-the house we rented is on a deserted 90-acre ranch in the desert-there is no cell reception-the groundskeeper told us he would lock the driveway gate behind him when he left/1 pic.twitter.com/GnXBBhnH9q Jude Atwood (@JudeAtwood) September 27, 2020\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Jude Atwood on Twitter / 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Someone on AirBNB group said their guest didnt find this funny wrote a bad review

its hilarious pic.twitter.com/BWPEUyhNFv

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I look at vacation rentals in faraway places way too often for someone who doesnt like leaving her couch.

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My therapist: The A24 AirBnB isn't real. It can't hurt you.

My friend: pic.twitter.com/hfUsDPPoc4

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can't stand an airbnb host that tries to have too many rules. \"quiet hours after 9 pm\"?? \"no guests without host permission\"??

listen babe my part of this was giving you money. your part is to tell me the wifi password. that's it. that's the end of the relationship.

caleb (@calebsaysthings) April 3, 2021","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"caleb","author_url":"https://twitter.com/calebsaysthings","cache_age":86400,"description":"can't stand an airbnb host that tries to have too many rules. \"quiet hours after 9 pm\"?? \"no guests without host permission\"??listen babe my part of this was giving you money. your part is to tell me the wifi password. that's it. that's the end of the relationship. caleb (@calebsaysthings) April 3, 2021\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"caleb on Twitter / 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