by Kara Baskin

Imagine this: You just got word from senior management that a long-term project youve been working on has taken a huge turn in direction. Whats your reaction: Do you think, Ok, well have to adapt our plan, but we can make this work, or Well, thats itthis project is doomed. This company never sticks to a plan.

If youre the former, you probably have whats called a growth mindsetyou believe that you can evolve, whether its by cultivating a personality trait like patience or learning a new skill like cooking.

If youre the latter, you might believe that people can never change. You probably have a fixed mindset and see characteristics as predetermined. Your husband will always leave dirty dishes in the sink, your daughter will never be good at math, and youll be terrible at every sport you try.

This concept was originally defined in relation to depression. People with a fixed mindset believe that problems are unchangeable and permeate everything in life. On the other hand, people with a growth mindset tend to perceive issues as a one-time occurrence.

Who do you think is buffered against depression? Those with a growth mindsetbecause they feel more empowered to persist after experiencing a setback. In other words, they are more resilient.

At meQuilibrium, we know that people arent necessarily born resilientbut they can learn to be. One way to foster a growth mindset is by modifying your Why Stylethe way you explain why things happen.

For instance, lets say youre stressed about your finances. You feel like youll never master your budget or put in place a solid financial plan. You can break out of this rut by learning to spot always and everything thoughts. Always thoughts usually contain the words always or never and frame issues as permanent. For example: Ill never be able to manage my budget because Ive always been bad with numbers.

Everything thoughts, meanwhile, take one issue and apply it to every area of your life: Im such a mess; I forgot to pay my credit card bill again. Why am I so disorganized? The conclusion drawn about your ability to be organized isnt directly correlated to forgetting to pay your credit card bill. And yet, in making this statement, you are taking one mistake and making a general (and negative) statement about your characterunwarrantedly affecting your self-image.

The next time you face a problem, try out this strategy:

1. Identify why its happening. (Maybe youre always too busy to review your finances; maybe you believe youve never been good at budgeting.) Whatever it may be, write down your reasons. 2. Notice the words everything and always in your answers, and circle them. These are dead-ends. 3. Reframe the problem to find as many solutions as possible. Instead of saying, Im no good at budgeting, you could say, I havent found a budgeting tool that I like yet. 4. Integrate new solutions now that youve broadened your thinking on possible causes, like, Im going to find a budgeting tool geared toward financial novices or Im going to set aside a time when Im not stressed to review my retirement plan.

We all face challenges in our lives. But whats not predetermined is how we view them. By reframing your challenges as something solvable, youre becoming more resilient and open to growthand positive change.

Kara Baskin is a Boston-based journalist who writes about food, health, wellbeing, and lifestyle for The Boston Globe, Boston Magazine, Womens Health, and AARPs Life Reimagined. Shes also the author of Size Matters: The Hard Facts About Male Sexuality That Every Woman Should Know (Random House). Find her on Twitter @kcbaskin