Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X , the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
my daughter asked why she cant just quit school and i told her its against the law and theyll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said ill visit you
Mandy (@MandyLawani) July 20, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Mandy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/MandyLawani","cache_age":86400,"description":"my daughter asked why she cant just quit school and i told her its against the law and theyll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said ill visit you Mandy (@MandyLawani) July 20, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Mandy on Twitter / 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parenting tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/best-parenting-tweets","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets"},"department":{"name":"Life","slug":"lifestyle"},"section":{"title":"Parenting","slug":"parents"},"topic":{"title":"Best Parenting Tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/life/topic/best-parenting-tweets"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">my daughter asked why she cant just quit school and i told her its against the law and theyll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said ill visit you
Mandy (@MandyLawani) July 20, 2024
Me: if I dont emotionally engage with my baby every second Im with her, she wont love me
My babys absolute favorite person: her big brother who shouts go away baby! every time he sees her
Me: if I dont emotionally engage with my baby every second Im with her, she wont love me
Cartoons Hate Her! (@CartoonsHateHer) July 25, 2024
My babys absolute favorite person: her big brother who shouts go away baby! every time he sees her
My daughter met another toddler at the playground and my kid was like Whats your name? Wow, thats a beautiful name. Look at how strong you are! I love your shoes!
And it took me a second to realize she was copying what I do when I meet a baby
My daughter met another toddler at the playground and my kid was like Whats your name? Wow, thats a beautiful name. Look at how strong you are! I love your shoes!
Robert Komaniecki (@Komaniecki_R) July 21, 2024
And it took me a second to realize she was copying what I do when I meet a baby
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my kid is obsessed with the construction happening on our block and wouldnt go inside to get out of his pajamas because he was too enthralled, so one of the workers said you need to go inside and get dressed so you can help us, its not safe to wear your pajamas to work
mindy (@mindyisser) July 22, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"mindy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/mindyisser","cache_age":86400,"description":"my kid is obsessed with the construction happening on our block and wouldnt go inside to get out of his pajamas because he was too enthralled, so one of the workers said you need to go inside and get dressed so you can help us, its not safe to wear your pajamas to work mindy (@mindyisser) July 22, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"mindy on Twitter / 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mindy (@mindyisser) July 22, 2024
3yo (in his car seat): Mommy, I want you to cross you legs like a pretzel.
Me (driving): Can't do that, honey.
3: Well, that's just the way things are today.
Me: No, honey, I'm driving.
3: MOMMY. I am doing it in the car. It is EASY!
This is every influencer giving \"advice.\"
3yo (in his car seat): Mommy, I want you to cross you legs like a pretzel.
Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) July 23, 2024
Me (driving): Can't do that, honey.
3: Well, that's just the way things are today.
Me: No, honey, I'm driving.
3: MOMMY. I am doing it in the car. It is EASY!
This is every influencer giving "advice."
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When you realize you have to come up with a new dinner idea every night pic.twitter.com/wu9ZyRa5Ex
meghan (@deloisivete) July 22, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"meghan","author_url":"https://twitter.com/deloisivete","cache_age":86400,"description":"When you realize you have to come up with a new dinner idea every night pic.twitter.com/wu9ZyRa5Ex meghan (@deloisivete) July 22, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"meghan on Twitter / 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meghan (@deloisivete) July 22, 2024
Every night I put my daughter to bed with a little song about tucking her in like a baby burrito and every night she solemnly reminds me that she is not actually food and I shouldnt eat her. She clearly has a lot of faith in me
Lottie-pop (@Lottie_Poppie) July 24, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Lottie-pop ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/Lottie_Poppie","cache_age":86400,"description":"Every night I put my daughter to bed with a little song about tucking her in like a baby burrito and every night she solemnly reminds me that she is not actually food and I shouldnt eat her. She clearly has a lot of faith in me Lottie-pop (@Lottie_Poppie) July 24, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Lottie-pop on Twitter / 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parenting tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/best-parenting-tweets","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets"},"department":{"name":"Life","slug":"lifestyle"},"section":{"title":"Parenting","slug":"parents"},"topic":{"title":"Best Parenting Tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/life/topic/best-parenting-tweets"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Every night I put my daughter to bed with a little song about tucking her in like a baby burrito and every night she solemnly reminds me that she is not actually food and I shouldnt eat her. She clearly has a lot of faith in me
Lottie-pop (@Lottie_Poppie) July 24, 2024
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I love my kids but I also love reminding them how many more days until school starts.
Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 25, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Sarcastic Mommy","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sarcasticmommy4","cache_age":86400,"description":"I love my kids but I also love reminding them how many more days until school starts. 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Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 25, 2024
The doctor tried using the stethoscope on CJ and he goes no no, EYE baby doc and tried using the stethoscope on the doctor doc goes hey man I worked hard to use this stethoscope, what are your credentials? Cj goes im baby doc goes ok thats fair you can go first
Sunni (@tvpoqueen) July 22, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Sunni ","author_url":"https://twitter.com/tvpoqueen","cache_age":86400,"description":"The doctor tried using the stethoscope on CJ and he goes no no, EYE baby doc and tried using the stethoscope on the doctor doc goes hey man I worked hard to use this stethoscope, what are your credentials? 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Cj goes im baby doc goes ok thats fair you can go first
Sunni (@tvpoqueen) July 22, 2024
She cant be president because shes not a mom well if she was a mom she probably couldnt be president either because shed always have to be like sorry I cant come to the NATO Summit I have Hand, Foot and Mouth disease again
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 23, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Lucy Huber","author_url":"https://twitter.com/clhubes","cache_age":86400,"description":"She cant be president because shes not a mom well if she was a mom she probably couldnt be president either because shed always have to be like sorry I cant come to the NATO Summit I have Hand, Foot and Mouth disease again Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 23, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Lucy Huber on Twitter / 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parenting tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/best-parenting-tweets","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets"},"department":{"name":"Life","slug":"lifestyle"},"section":{"title":"Parenting","slug":"parents"},"topic":{"title":"Best Parenting Tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/life/topic/best-parenting-tweets"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">She cant be president because shes not a mom well if she was a mom she probably couldnt be president either because shed always have to be like sorry I cant come to the NATO Summit I have Hand, Foot and Mouth disease again
Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 23, 2024
Me to my 3 yo: why are you wearing 2 purses?
Her: one for my $3 and the other for my crackers.
Me to my 3 yo: why are you wearing 2 purses?
Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) July 22, 2024
Her: one for my $3 and the other for my crackers.
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The kids are utterly scandalized to learn that my husband and I both dated other people before we met each other in our late 20s
Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) July 21, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Kristen Mulrooney","author_url":"https://twitter.com/missmulrooney","cache_age":86400,"description":"The kids are utterly scandalized to learn that my husband and I both dated other people before we met each other in our late 20s Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) July 21, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Kristen Mulrooney on Twitter / 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parenting tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/best-parenting-tweets","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets"},"department":{"name":"Life","slug":"lifestyle"},"section":{"title":"Parenting","slug":"parents"},"topic":{"title":"Best Parenting Tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/life/topic/best-parenting-tweets"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">The kids are utterly scandalized to learn that my husband and I both dated other people before we met each other in our late 20s
Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) July 21, 2024
Me to my kids: you guys watch some of the stupidest stuff on YouTube..
The shows I watched as a kid: pic.twitter.com/qNcB2AkDA2
Me to my kids: you guys watch some of the stupidest stuff on YouTube..
Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 23, 2024
The shows I watched as a kid: pic.twitter.com/qNcB2AkDA2
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me: please put that down.
9yo: you mean drop it, throw it, or lose it?
me: please put that down.
Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 25, 2024
9yo: you mean drop it, throw it, or lose it?
Me: Is your room clean?
12-year-old: Yes.
Me: Would your mom think it's clean?
12: Not fair. That's impossible.
Me: Is your room clean?
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 22, 2024
12-year-old: Yes.
Me: Would your mom think it's clean?
12: Not fair. That's impossible.
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Parenthood test: Are you willing to stand in lines for stuff you don't want for the next 17 years? Because guess what? You might not think that line is worth DipNDots, but your 4yo DOES NOT CARE if the line reaches to MARS. Ice cream of the future!
Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) July 11, 2024","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Shannon","author_url":"https://twitter.com/ShannonJCurtin","cache_age":86400,"description":"Parenthood test: Are you willing to stand in lines for stuff you don't want for the next 17 years? Because guess what? You might not think that line is worth DipNDots, but your 4yo DOES NOT CARE if the line reaches to MARS. Ice cream of the future! Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) July 11, 2024\n\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Shannon on Twitter / 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parenting tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","links":{"relativeLink":"topic/best-parenting-tweets","permalink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets","mobileWebLink":"https://action.news/topic/best-parenting-tweets"},"department":{"name":"Life","slug":"lifestyle"},"section":{"title":"Parenting","slug":"parents"},"topic":{"title":"Best Parenting Tweets","slug":"best-parenting-tweets","overridesSectionLabel":false},"url":"https://action.news/life/topic/best-parenting-tweets"}],"isLiveblogLive":null,"isLiveblog":false,"cetUnit":"buzz_body","bodyAds":["\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n","\r\n\r\n"],"adCount":0},"isCollectionEmbed":false}">Parenthood test: Are you willing to stand in lines for stuff you don't want for the next 17 years? Because guess what? You might not think that line is worth DipNDots, but your 4yo DOES NOT CARE if the line reaches to MARS. Ice cream of the future!
Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) July 11, 2024
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