I answered all my emails and then they in turn were answered and now here we are again having to answer emails. The horrors persist

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When I say I got that dog in me this is what I mean pic.twitter.com/5SESaZWxEH

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2hrs after a breakup females be havin 2 jobs, signed up for school & a dwn payment on a house .

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Me at home: Why isn't there more kindness in the world?

Me while driving: I hate every single person on this planet.

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A lady just asked me am I proud to be celebrating the devils holiday. Maam Im a banana. pic.twitter.com/4PwyYyLWhr

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Moms be like, Your cousins neighbors husbands aunt died. Just thought you should know.

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Last night I was at a very fancy restaurant and I watched a woman casually take a sip of water out of a small vase of roses on the table. Her husband didnt react at all.

I cannot stop thinking about it.

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yall wanted this cuddle weather now look at yall!! lonely and cold

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for some reason my hotel room has 2 toilets and i have been using them equally so neither one feels left out in case youre wondering how im doing

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no one:

my head when its midnight:

31st of october 1st of november pic.twitter.com/6UTzHS7hWl

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Egg a whole house? In this economy?

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With friendships I have what I like to call outdoor cat attachment style. Some weeks u will see me a ton and other weeks u will not know if Im dead or alive but dont worry I still love u I will not forget u

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bro really said this then showed us the sickest looking book ever https://t.co/nOUHe1Qyvi

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a little girl in the neighborhood was taylor swift from the you belong with me video so i just screamed TAYLOR SWIFT at her as we walked by and she yelled back, \"MY NAME IS ADDIE.\" i'm glad we got that cleared up

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the popcorn/vomit bowl is also the halloween candy bowl, I dont make the rules.

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My gen z sister asked me how did you read fan fiction back in the day as if I was charging my computer with a butter churner to load fanfiction dot net

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Bringing back my top chuck e cheese fun fact: when they retired old animatronics corporate didn't want to pay to ship them back but also didn't want them to be stolen or sold, so they told franchise employees to beat and smash them and then mail in polaroids of this happening

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bestie: \"send me that picture we took last night, we probably look so good!\"

the picture: pic.twitter.com/VPVIuHROTu

ivy *. (@ivyluvx) October 31, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"ivy *.","author_url":"https://twitter.com/ivyluvx","cache_age":86400,"description":"bestie: \"send me that picture we took last night, we probably look so good!\"the picture: pic.twitter.com/VPVIuHROTu ivy *. 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I respect perfume commercials being like we cant show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds

stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) November 2, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"stoned cold fox","author_url":"https://twitter.com/roastmalone_","cache_age":86400,"description":"I respect perfume commercials being like we cant show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) November 2, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"stoned cold fox on Twitter / 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i have bad spatial reasoning but is his head. supposed to be that size https://t.co/MPALErtqM0

Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) October 29, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Sydney Battle","author_url":"https://twitter.com/SydneyBattle","cache_age":86400,"description":"i have bad spatial reasoning but is his head. supposed to be that size https://t.co/MPALErtqM0 Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) October 29, 2023\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Sydney Battle on Twitter / 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All of these words make sense individually, however the problem is when you combine them in such a manner. https://t.co/QDBGRrrSAa

Alexis Bring Back Bunheads Wilson (@sassyblackdiva) November 1, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Alexis Bring Back Bunheads Wilson","author_url":"https://twitter.com/sassyblackdiva","cache_age":86400,"description":"All of these words make sense individually, however the problem is when you combine them in such a manner. https://t.co/QDBGRrrSAa Alexis Bring Back Bunheads Wilson (@sassyblackdiva) November 1, 2023\n\n","options":{"_hide_media":{"label":"Hide photos, videos, and cards","value":false},"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Alexis Bring Back Bunheads Wilson on Twitter / 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carefully pushing razor blades into the heroin bonbons Im distributing to trick or treaters from my legal home address tonight. each one costs me $52 and risks a crazy prison sentence with no possible upside. but someones gotta do it

Marie lastnam (@marieberd) November 1, 2023","type":"rich","meta":{"author":"Marie lastnam","author_url":"https://twitter.com/marieberd","cache_age":86400,"description":"carefully pushing razor blades into the heroin bonbons Im distributing to trick or treaters from my legal home address tonight. each one costs me $52 and risks a crazy prison sentence with no possible upside. but someones gotta do it Marie lastnam (@marieberd) November 1, 2023\n\n","options":{"_maxwidth":{"label":"Adjust width","placeholder":"220-550, in px","value":""},"_theme":{"value":"","values":{"dark":"Use dark theme"}}},"provider_name":"Twitter","title":"Marie lastnam on Twitter / 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these two girls yelled \"hi barbie!\" at me and when i responded with \"hi barbie!\" back, they lost their shit like \"she RESPONDED omg\" as if i was an animatronic???

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A dog's sigh is so hilarious because wtf is stressing you

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Turns out that ending meetings with have the day you deserve has made me some enemies at work.

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