Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump met face-to-face for the first time Tuesday night at the presidential debate. And before the debate even started, their greeting said a lot about their mindsets, body language experts told HuffPost.
Harris initiated the handshake by striding over to Trumps lectern and reaching out her hand.
The fact that she encroached on his space says to me that that was a show of power, said behavioral scientist Abbie Maroo , because this initiation sends a signal of Im not afraid of you.
Trump is known for pulling people off balance with his handshakes , said body language expert Mark Bowden , which is why Harris choice to walk toward him with a lot of velocity helped.
The best way to deal with that is to come in hot and with a strong, rigid arm so that actually his instinct is to try and stop you rather than pull you, he said. Shes got the velocity advantage and the intent advantage, so he cant hang on to her hand in any way.
Kamala Harris, she said in introducing herself while shaking Trumps hand. Lets have a good debate. Trump replied, Nice to see you. Have fun.
Maroo said Harris introduction is both professional and a polite way to signal Im approachable, Im warm, Im inviting.
Trump, meanwhile, looked caught off guard because he did the handshake while not directly squaring his shoulders off with Harris and because his greeting makes no sense in the context of a presidential debate, said Denise Dudley , clinical psychologist and author of Work It! Get In, Get Noticed, Get Promoted.
Maroo explained that showing dominance involves controlling someones space and their time. Harris went for one elbow pump with her handshake while Trump kept his hand with hers for additional smaller handshakes. By holding her there, its kind of reclaiming a little bit of that power, she suggested.
When their 90-minute debate ended, Trump promptly exited the stage. But if Trump wanted to counter Harris dominance display, he should have gone for a final handshake after their debate concluded: OK, you approached me. Im going to show you the same level of respect at the end and encroach on [your] space, Maroo suggested.
There are no rules that obligate presidential candidates to shake each others hand during debates, but Dudley said it was a huge power move for Harris to do so.
Some people, they think, well, the position of power is march in here and ignore my opponent, and to not shake her hand or his hand, Dudley said. But the true position of power is to own your own self and your own space, and to be the person who can walk in, put out a hand and say, Hello, Im Kamala Harris. Thats the position of power.
Very few of us are going to have political opponents were greeting for the first time on national television. But at some point, most of us are going to encounter a colleague whom we dislike or someone who might be trying to intimidate us.
You can masterfully disarm your professional or personal foe with a purposeful handshake. The best thing we can possibly do is to rise above it and behave in a professional way, Dudley said.
Heres how:
1. Keep your grip firm.
Maroo said its best to avoid an overly strong grip that comes off as aggressive but to also avoid hesitating, because it signals you lack confidence. You dont squeeze too tightly, but you dont do the dead-fish where [you] give them only your fingertips, Dudley advised.
Instead, have a really firm grip, Maroo said.
2. Look them in the eyes.
Both Harris and Trump made eye contact while shaking hands Tuesday. Eye contact while shaking hands is a sign of confidence, Maroo said. It shows youre engaged. It shows that you are showing respect to the other person. You are there. You are present.
3. You dont need to smile, but keep your expression neutral.
When youre meeting someone you do not like, you dont have to fake a cheerful smile, but do not scowl or grimace, because it comes off as immature and, therefore, less powerful, Dudley said.
4. Do one elbow pump.
Ideally, you want to pump your hand from your elbow because it displays confidence but not aggression.
Trump is known for reeling in other peoples hands and pulling them up and down in a saw motion with his shoulder, said Dudley, who has studied videos of Trumps greetings. Do not do this, because it puts people off their balance, she said. We want to let people stay stable while theyre shaking our hand.
Why This All Matters
Ultimately, each handshake is a new opportunity to show someone where they stand with you and your intentions. Bowden said handshakes were an ancient custom for people to show that they were not hiding knives or swords in their dominant hands. And that intent of non-hostility remains. Asking for and receiving a handshake signals Were from the same community. We hold the same tradition, Bowden said.
Harris and Trumps encounter was the first debate handshake seen between Republican and Democratic presidential nominees since 2016. And thats why each physical interaction between Harris and Trump is fascinating to observe.
On Wednesday, Harris and Trump attended the same commemoration on the anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. And they shook hands again after Harris appeared to be prompted by former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg to do so.
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This time, Trump patted one hand on top of Harris while they shook hands, which is a sign of intimacy if you are friends with someone. But clearly, Harris and Trump are not friends, so it comes across as patronizing, Dudley said. It also is something that we women get a lot from men, and its a sexist move.
Dudley noted it would have been stronger for Trump to have initiated the handshake himself instead of having it mediated by a third party.
In both cases, he missed an opportunity to appear presidential, to appear like a strong candidate, to appear as if he was not cowed by her, which, as time went on [during the debate], it sure seemed like she was getting to him for sure, Dudley said.
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