NEW YORK Karyn Kusama is tired of being reminded that shes a female director. Its one of the first things the Destroyer director tells me after we sit down for lunch at a restaurant in Chelsea. Its a chilly December afternoon in New York, where lunch with me is but one stop on Kusamas full-day itinerary that has her bouncing from one awards season interview to the next.

Her comment isnt in response to any question of mine, but given how frequently it comes up in conversations with journalists, I wonder if shes bracing for something.

A big part of my experience in making the movie, Kusama says of her upcoming film, an absolutely brutal Los Angeles crime drama led by an unrecognizable Nicole Kidman, is constantly being asked about being female.

Its as if Im being reminded of it because its a deficit or because its a mark against me, or worse, she adds with a bewildered laugh, as the hum of a patio heater buzzes nearby, that I dont know.

At a time when the film industry is finally, if reluctantly, acknowledging the gender inequality that courses through it, and holding abusive men accountable for their crimes against women, Kusama realizes that discussions around diversity and identity are important. But why should they overshadow her work or define it? Male filmmakers are never asked about the basic reality of being male. Its women, people of color and LGBTQ folks who are asked to explain art through the lens of their identities.

Defining Kusama as a female filmmaker is like describing Kidmans Destroyer character as a female detective; its an obvious, but diminishing characterization.

Im realizing that when its pointed out to me that Im female, its as if Im marginalized by my very identity. And that, Kusama tells me, she can no longer agree to. It starts to feel really reductive.