Actor Maisie Williams recently spoke about her traumatic childhood relationship with her father, whom she said her mother escaped when she was an infant.
In an interview on Steven Bartletts Diary of a CEO Podcast, the 25-year-old discussed her life before she catapulted to stardom at age 12 as Arya Stark on Game of Thrones and spoke about the lasting effects of her childhood on her mental health.
Well, I, as a young child before the age of, like, 8, had a traumatic relationship with my dad, she revealed. And I dont want to go into it too much because it affects my siblings and my whole family.
But, like, that really consumed a lot of my childhood. Ever since I can remember, Ive really struggled sleeping. And I think a lot of the traumatic things that were happening, I didnt realize that they were wrong.
Williams said her mother escaped when I was about 4 months old.
When she was 8 years old, the situation with her father had met its peak, Williams said, and a teacher at her school took her to the staff room and asked her what was going on.
And she was saying, like, Whats wrong, you know, like, whats happened? Are you hungry? ... Did you eat breakfast? I said, No. And she said, Oh, why not? And I said, We just dont have any breakfast. And then she says, you know, Do you normally have breakfast? she recalled.
They were asking the right questions, she added, breaking down in tears.
My mum came to school and picked me up. It was the first time that all of the doors were open, and it was the first time things were on the table, she said.
I still wanted to fight and say these things arent wrong, that youre just trying to take me away from my dad.
I was indoctrinated in a way. I think thats why Im obsessed with cults, she added. Because Im, like, I get it. I get it. I was in a child cult.
Ultimately, Williams said, she was glad she didnt have to see her dad anymore, but she still struggled with conflicting emotions.
You can feel so liberated and free and at the same time, just like that impending doom is kind of still there, she said.
Williams said that she battled identity, anxiety and mental health issues as a child and young adult but that shes been coming to terms with what she experienced.
To be honest, I have been thinking about this a lot. Its not because of me that these bad things happened when I was a child, she said. I thought it was. I through there was something inherently wrong with me, that it could be anyone experiencing the pain.
It made me more interested in the guy. What could make you mistreat your own children? What happened to you as a kid? Did you pull the legs off bugs? Did you learn all this?
Thats how I feel about him now. He would make a fascinating documentary.
Williams has spoken in the past about how her mental health suffered from an early age from a combination of fame and negativity on social media.
I went through a huge period of my life where Id tell myself every day I hated myself, Williams said at the time.
In her latest interview, Williams revealed she drew on her traumatic childhood experiences as a young actor on Game of Thrones.
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I was doing interviews, and I remember people sort of being, like, but youre so young. How do you show this pain? she recalled. And in my head I was, like, Thats a really stupid question. Because Ive known how that feels.
Its hugely influenced everything that I do as an actor. I get to access all of that confusion and pain in my job, and I get to really feel it in every fiber of my being.
Watch the podcast episode below.
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