Omar Delgado, 45, Greater Orlando, Florida. Pulse nightclub shooting, June 12, 2016.

It was well after midnight when Omar Delgado, who was working patrol in Eatonville, Florida, responded to a distress call in nearby Orlando. Now, more than a year after the shooting at the Pulse nightclub, Delgado is struggling with post-traumatic stress and has been terminated from his job, six months before he would have become vested in his pension . If hed made it to 10 years employment with the Eatonville Police Department, he would have been able to collect 64 percent of his salary and benefits for life, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Now hell only be able to collect 42 percent of his salary, starting when hes 55.

Im taking six medicines to try and help me sleep and I cant. I have nightmares every single night. Picture having a nightmare every single night since June 12. I wake up screaming and yelling and sweating. It takes a toll. I only sleep three or four hours night and it doesnt matter what medicine they put me on. It knocks me out quick, but then I wake up with nightmares. Its not a way of living.

A friend of mine reached out to me and said they knew a therapist, and I started seeing her for a bit. Then my department said, thats not working, were going to sent you to the University of Central Florida, they have this great program that they use for PTSD veterans. I was the first first responder to ever join their program. The only reason I did it was because my department was paying me to go and I needed money. I dont know if it helped. In a way, it made things worse, because I kept reliving [Pulse] over and over again every day. It was a horrific thing. I dont want to disrespect UCF, but it wasnt for me. It might work for veterans, but it wasnt made for a first responder who suffered through Pulse.

Id never seen a mental health professional before and I didnt know what it would entail. As a police officer, youre strong, and as a male you really just dont go pour your heart out to an individual. Ive been opening up slowly, but its a long process.