Nice white people, including those in your family, can still be racist .

Thats a hard lesson many are grappling with as the country enters into the second month of protests and conversations spurred on by the killing of George Floyd by Minneapolis police.

Perhaps in the past, during the holidays or at family get-togethers, you listened through gritted teeth as racist jokes or comments were casually tossed around, frozen from action because, hey, racist uncles are gonna racist uncle. (Plus, did you really want to be that family member who ruins what might be the last Christmas for your 97-year-old grandma?)

But in light of the protests, many are doubling down with racially insensitive comments and reaction memes: MLK protested , these are just thugs looting on the streets. All lives matter. No white person alive today ever owned a slave. No Black person alive today was ever a slave. Candace Owens says we shouldnt be mourning George Floyd because he was far from the perfect victim . What about Black-on-Black crime?

You were silent before, but the stakes feel higher now. Youre probably more well acquainted with recent victims of police brutality, knowing them by their full names and back stories: George Floyd . Breonna Taylor . Elijah McClain. Ahmaud Arbery . Tamir Rice . Rayshard Brooks . Atatiana Jefferson . The list goes on and on with a sickening constancy. Just as soon as you commit one persons face and name to memory, it seems like another incident committed by the police makes headlines.

If you feel compelled to speak up and call out racism when you see it, especially among those youre close to, youre hardly alone right now, said Elizabeth McCorvey, a clinical social worker and therapist who offers anti-racism courses in Hendersonville, North Carolina.

Sometimes speaking up isnt even about educating the other person so much as it is standing up for your own morals and ethics, McCorvey said. Its saying: Whether or not I change their mind, I refuse to let this happen without saying something. I will always accept the invitation to stand up for what is right.

White people need to normalize checking each other when they see racism. Even the most politically sanitized quote cards shared at the height of the protests drove that point home: As weve seen, protesting is vital and effective , but theres also a need to address hatred in your own inner circle, with your own people.