Remember that time you dropped a few pounds, felt really good about yourself and then you got on Instagram to take a photo and saw a photo of one of your friends?

She had lost a little bit more than you and had on a great new outfit.

The 15 pounds you lost suddenly seemed pitiful.

You were depressed, upset and angry that you hadnt lost more.

She can lose all that weight because she doesnt have kids, so she has time to go to the gym, you think to yourself.

And thats another thing she doesnt have children. She didnt have stretch marks and I bet her stomach was still flat, you think.

Before long, youve gone from celebrating your own success to being miserable because someone elses success may have been a smidge better.

What your friend achieves has nothing to do with you.

Its not going to take away from what youve done. Its not going to make you less than. Its not going to cause your success to be any less.

Just like what you do really doesnt take away from someone elses success and achievements.

For some warped, twisted reason, we seem to think if someone gets the car we want, the house we dream of, or has any type of success its an indicator of our failure.

We have created imaginary limitations that make us think if someone does something great, that means we have to fail.

Life shouldnt be a competition, but somehow thats what its become. Its like we are in a race where only the first one across can break that finish line tape, when it really shouldnt be that way.

Who says just because someone experiences something wonderful in their life that we have to give up success? We dont. That makes no sense.

I dont even consider it a jealousy type thing. If anything, its some twisted comparison complex where we spend all day comparing ourselves to someone else and coming up short.

If it was just jealousy, it would be a hell of lot more benign.

When I am jealous, its because its something that I wish I had or could do or achieved that I hadnt but maybe one day would. Like I am jealous of women who know how to decorate and make the tiniest spaces look divine. I am jealous but I am able to gush and tell them how envious I am sincerely.

When I fall into the comparison trap, I am coming up less than and trying to find a way to decrease the other persons value in the meantime.

She has a better job than me, and I dont know why, she doesnt have my education. I bet I know how she got it

Shes always posting on Facebook how great her husband is last I heard, he was cheating on her.

These are some of the themes we play in our heads to justify why someone else has success or happiness. Whatever you call it its just something that makes you feel like you are a total failure the size of Texas.

Thats what comparison does.

Its like someone saying, Thats comparing apples and oranges.

Two totally different fruits. Some people like citrus; personally, I am not fan of either but you can dip an apple in caramel.

Does the apple worry about the orange? About the fact the orange can be easily peeled and cut into sections? Or that there are seedless varieties?

Of course not. Just as the orange does not care that the apple can be baked in a pie.

And I am not saying we are fruit, but instead of focusing on what someone else does or has, we need to focus on our own happiness.

Social media is often the arena where we fall prey to this trap the most. We search through our friends photos, and instead of feeling happy to see their new home, their vacation to Bimini, or their gorgeous new boyfriend, we seethe and fume.

Why isnt that my life?

Instead, we feel a twinge of happiness if we find an unflattering picture of them on Facebook and snickering, I knew they would gain that weight back! we should direct our attention towards the positive things in our lives.

Tearing ourselves down with a comparison complex only causes us to subsequently tear others down, just to make ourselves feel better. And its not working, either.

Instead, we feel worse and then guilty for being such jerks.

Next time we want to celebrate what we have accomplished, lets just celebrate it rejoice in what we did, how made it through something, met our goals, whatever we did.

But put the focus on that.

And let the comparison end there.