Until a few years ago, Grey Wilsons journey as a trans person had largely been a peaceful one.

A week before his 13th birthday, he came out to his mother, Lauren, in a PowerPoint presentation that laid out why he should be allowed to transition. It had previously proven to be a successful method of getting what he wanted: Every time he yearned to adopt a dog or a bunny, he would create a slideshow detailing the costs of pet ownership, appropriate feeding schedules, and where to obtain the animal in question. (Grey only got turned down when he asked Lauren for a snake.)

Lauren, a self-described data nerd, found herself convinced by the research Grey had compiled on the psychological benefits of gender affirmation. When the presentation concluded, she thought to herself, Yep, thats my son.

But Greys happy existence ended seemingly overnight when he testified in the Texas Legislature against a 2021 bill seeking to ban gender-affirming care for minors. Anti-trans activists showed up at the familys door after their home address was shared online, and Lauren said men with assault rifles tailed her when she was driving and tried to follow her to work. Grey was suddenly troubled by a new guilt, the fear he had brought all this down upon him. The thing they hate about her is me, he thought to himself. Theyre going after her because of me.

I felt a lot of responsibility for what was happening, said Grey, now 19. I know logically it isnt, but a part of me thought, Well, if I wasnt trans, she wouldnt be getting harassed.

The bill banning gender-affirming care for Texas youth which threatens doctors who offer transition care to minors with loss of licensure became a law two years after Greys testimony, and many families left the state in response. But the Wilsons, who arent being identified with their real last name due to safety concerns, were worried that simply going to a blue state like California or Colorado wouldnt be enough. What if their new state started passing the same policies as their old one? Lauren knew that selling their house would only generate enough revenue to finance one move, and she worried they would be stuck if they chose the wrong state.

Instead of risking their only chance at escape, Grey and Lauren decided to flee the United States altogether and start over in New Zealand a country where they had few friends or connections. They chose New Zealand for pragmatic reasons: Its considered among the worlds most LGBTQ+ friendly nations, ranked 10th in a 2020 survey from UCLA think tank the Williams Institute and the climate is more mild than Canada, ranked fifth. They wouldnt have to learn a new language, unlike third-place Norway and 11th-place Australia has the most reptile species of any country, a major deal breaker for Lauren. (New Zealand, in contrast, has no snakes.)